The longer this carries on and the more it feels I'm losing her, whether true or not.. The more it seems a dissociation is developing. The i can deal with being a third wheel.. And the i have to jump ship.
It doesn't help to have some random kid she'd pulled into the party, a mutual friend of theirs, tell me how hilarious that it...
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Weird. I guess no videos are getting uploaded to the site. That sucks. Tried to post one just to see but nothing new in 5 days. 😩
So after the last, which was the email that I sent to her... there's more.
--And that email was hard enough to send to her in the first place,
I said to her 'I'm done'. That's all. nothing more to it than that.. Just 'I'm done'.
She replied that if I was done then so was she. What had happened was that I had written...
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Darling it's cold outside
Oh it's so cold out here tonight
Well I'm here freezing in the dark
And your loves a fading spark
Darling it's cold outside
Oh it's so cold out here tonight
You're in there having quite a lark
And my car won't even start
Darling it's cold outside
Oh its so cold out here tonight
I worried you might no longer...
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When you're talking to the husband and without an ounce of emnity he's like, so will you try pursue to my wife? And I'm like, even despite myself, obviously i would. But due to circumstances it would be impossible. But even practically i couldn't think about it. They bring up Tinder instead and I'm like that wouldn't even help me.
I'm thinking about it and...
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Months have gone by and while she's still very affectionate, honest and awesome.. I still refuse to believe she's single. But the last thing she said was 'new years with her girlfriend'.. I just need friends right now though and blew the few I have off due to work. But can't help myself for wanting her all to myself you know? I could ask her...
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It is kind of sick but even though I'm trying to endure the pain of a rapid series of heartbreaks.. Since I'm in love with a woman who is apparently trolling me.. I'm calm.. Relatively. I'm smiling. There's almost a bliss in the sustained and amazing pain of heartbreak. Retreating inward is like finally.. I might be free.. But i keep looking back, maybe there's...
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I want to hold your hands and kiss them
So that you will always know love and they will never be cold
I want to hold your face and kiss you
So that you will always know love and that I will always be near
I want to have a house with you
So that you will always know love and a place to share...
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I just don't understand why it has to hurt. Why are some of us willing to endure the pain and not just turn and walk away at the smell of smoke.. but we have to stick around and get burned before we leave what could be a good thing.. but is far from a sure thing behind.
Why you know it is a bad situation...
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