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ltrain

Hell.

Member Since 2003

Followers 112 Following 96

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Thursday Dec 18, 2003

Dec 18, 2003
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mmmmmmmm... theraflu.
puke

Helpful Hints:

Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetablesby getting someone else to hold them while you chop away!

Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy anordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Helpful Hint #9
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose oflaxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

******************************
VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
bean:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU ALIVE??!!!1

heh. tongue
Dec 24, 2003
seether:
Muahhhhhh.... XOXOXO

May you wake up tomorrow feeling great and surrounded by ten beautiful women who are at your beck and call.

Actually, heck I wouldn't mind that either biggrin

Frieden, Liebe und Pfannkuchen!

-Sssssssssss
Dec 24, 2003

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