ltrain

mmmmmmmm... theraflu.


Helpful Hints:

Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetablesby getting someone else to hold them while you chop away!

Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy anordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

Helpful hint #6
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply pissing in the sink.

Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Helpful Hint #9
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose oflaxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

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