I haven't had a cig for 2 whole day (almost). Ugh my body is not happy, although at the same time I feel a bit LESS stressed out because of it. On top of that for the last 2 or 3 weeks I've been having night sweats. I wake up around 4 in the morning and my back in soaked. I've never had these before.
Oh yah this probably isn't the time to quit smoking but what the hell, I need to jump start somethings and plus a shock to body wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I also figured out that the few friends I have in LA are probably worse off than I am. I feel like I can get better if I just put some more effort into it but some of these guys are hopeless. I think that makes me feel better. Hah I'm an ass.
I'm still undecided on the girlfriend thing. The more I think about it though the more I think I'm just scared shitless of losing her and the big changes that will go along with it. I'm also scared of being alone. I know these aren't good reasons to keep a dying relationship going on but it's so hard to break it off finally. I know I should go with my gut which is saying right now I need to be alone and figure out things for myself. And going with these instincts is usually the right thing to do in the end.
God I'm such a pussy. It's very humbling to come to this conclusion. Did I ever mention I'm 6'2" and despite not looking like a bad ass, I have absolutlely pounded some bigger people in my time. But I'm still a pussy.
Oh yah this probably isn't the time to quit smoking but what the hell, I need to jump start somethings and plus a shock to body wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I also figured out that the few friends I have in LA are probably worse off than I am. I feel like I can get better if I just put some more effort into it but some of these guys are hopeless. I think that makes me feel better. Hah I'm an ass.
I'm still undecided on the girlfriend thing. The more I think about it though the more I think I'm just scared shitless of losing her and the big changes that will go along with it. I'm also scared of being alone. I know these aren't good reasons to keep a dying relationship going on but it's so hard to break it off finally. I know I should go with my gut which is saying right now I need to be alone and figure out things for myself. And going with these instincts is usually the right thing to do in the end.
God I'm such a pussy. It's very humbling to come to this conclusion. Did I ever mention I'm 6'2" and despite not looking like a bad ass, I have absolutlely pounded some bigger people in my time. But I'm still a pussy.
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Sorry to hear about the chick thing. Sometimes you need to move one, Sometimes you need to fix the problem. I hope you can figure it out.
A bit of advice from someone who knows - being scared of being alone is the single worst reason to be in a relationship - seriously.
Cherry xox