longpastbedtime

I'm really tired of life right now. I don't know what to do about it. I'm tired of avoiding everything like I've been doing for so long. I've burned a lot of bridges, only to find I'm out on an island and it's lonely out here. The things I use to amuse myself I don't really enjoy anymore. They've taken on a sinister new meaning, as I do my damnedest to block out as much human contact as possible with them. I never thought I gave a shit about what anyone else thought, but as it turns out, I do. I think those who know me are ashamed, and that makes me feel so vile, so miserable. I hate it. I hate me. I have/had a good life, and a good head on my shoulders, and I've basically pissed away any chance I had of being something. Now I'm bringing in the third- and fourth- string dreams, and I'm not even optimistic about achieving those. I'm only 23, and I feel broken. I don't know what it'll take to fix me.

Oh, and I'm a whiny, insufferable bastard when I've been drinking. Sorry to anyone who stumbled onto this, I'm not usually so gloom-and-doom. Maybe it's winter coming on, who knows. I'm just in a slump right now.