lolablu

I'm home for my family's annual 4th of July insanity, and thus far it's going pretty well. I guess my new meds are working, because the stress of being around my family doesn't seem so bad that I want to stab myself.

Back in NYC and doing OK.

There is some weird shit happening in my brain. One minute I'm loving it and loving living in my head. The next minute I want to get the hell out.

How strange. Someone I hardly know messaged me on Facebook and asked me if I enjoyed living and why. From what I know of him, he's pretty depressed, and I think he wants me to be some kind of uplifting example. I can't take care of someone I barely know, though.

How strange. Someone I hardly know messaged me on Facebook and asked me if I enjoyed living and why. From what I know of him, he's pretty depressed, and I think he wants me to be some kind of uplifting example. I can't take care of someone I barely know, though.

I'm awake in the middle of the night with what I'm pretty sure is an ear infection. My university's health center isn't open again till Monday, so I guess I'll drag myself to a Duane Reade Walk-In Clinic, 'cause this shit is miserable.

I love summer clothes. What I DON'T love is the fact that wearing summer clothes makes guys think they can disrespect me on the street. So I'm performing an experiment. A friend of mine said it worked for her. Although I'm skeptical, I'm giving it a try. It put me out $7, but I bought a fake wedding band to wear. It looks surprisingly convincing!...
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When I was a teenager and I got depressed and I wanted to check out of my life, I'd have all kinds of fantasies about dropping everything and running away. There was the Spain idea. The Buddhist monastery in China idea. And now I want to join a traveling carnival and get the fuck out.