Are we meant to live for the happiness of others or our own happiness? I've been wrestling with this question for a very long time. Of course the simple answer is - both. We are meant to find balance, but balance is never simple, the impulses to be selfish or selfless can both be very attractive and often one wins out over the other. So if we have to pick one, which one do we pick.
I am wrestling with this partly because my mom has become dependent on my help, from doing her grocery shopping to making dinner for her and my grandmother. She works, and yes she works hard, but I worry this dependence is bad. I also fear that it will only get worse as my grandmother returns from the hospital. She's 80 years old, she likely only has a few years left and she is going to only continue to need assistance in her daily needs. My mother does not have the time to provide these nor does she have the money to hire someone to meet these needs.
I have the time. I've considered offering to sell my house and move in with them and help be my grandmother's caretaker. I'm not doing this for my grandmother, I would be doing it for my mom. I promised my father when he was dying that I would take care of my mother, and helping her is part of that. It's not what I want, but it gives her the help she needs and it would eliminate some of our money concerns for the time being.
So do I do what is best for the family and sacrifice my happiness or as Spock would say, does the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the one?
