llouys

Stuart: Well, its a well known fact, Sunny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as "The Pentavret". Who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as "The Meadows".

Tony: So, who's in this "Pentavret"?

Stuart: The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschildes, and Colonel Sanders before he went tet's up. Oooh I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face. "Oooh you're gonna buy my chicken, oooh".

Charlie: Dad? How can you hate the Colonel?

Stuart: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smartass.

***

(But one of my favorites

Harriet: Charlie, What do you look for in women you date?

Charlie: Well, I know everyone always says "sense of humor", but I'd really have to go with breast size.