llama

Thank you all for the nice comments. Yes, health is returning. Unfortunately, in the cosmic game of maintaining balance in the universe, my heart was yet again removed, beaten, chopped into fine bits, and run through the blender yet again. More life's lessons, you cannot reason with the insane. Insanity is in fact the black hole for reason and logic, and if you contain either, you will be ripped to shreds by the extreme gravitational pull of the insanity. It would have taken a 5 minuted conversation with me to avoid months of emotional tug-of-war and the inevitable tempest of hate, mistrust, and furious regret. Why is the truth so hard, no impossible, for some people to give. And then the need to destroy all that is good to appease ones guilty conscience? I wonder if I can fake the laws of the universe and pretend to be a heartless bastard so I attract my opposite and actually find a nice person who knows the value of the truth, and the rewards of honesty. But I fear I would only find someone pretending to be those things to attract a heartless bastard. Sometimes I really wish my heart would just fucking die already.

Have a nice day.