livingoutloud

I went to a friends birthday shin-dig last night. The party was populated by a whole group of folks I knew from back home. They are all classic actor/dancer types meaning they are a rowdy bunch. Dance, drink, laugh, and usually end the night with a round of naked time.
The ugly side of the actor/dancer type is the pretentious and overly self-involved attitude. That desperate hunger packaged neatly inside seemingly confident bravado. Usually, I can just gloss over it, but I had trouble doing that last night. I spent most of the evening sitting back and watching them like a TV show, and a bad one too like an early 90s teen sitcom where the laugh track is looming and the dialogue is completely disconnected and the characters speak in a repetitive set-up and release manner but you dont notice it at first because theyre all so pretty, and theyre all dressed so damn stylishly, and they all have perfect jbf hair.
That night I tripped home with a certain girl from the group. And like many a night before, we ended up on some crappy sofabed in another friends apartment. She was drunk out of her mind, she kissed me artlessly, she moved mechanically, and somehow she felt crude to the touch. She is an unquestionably beautiful girl but, looking down at her then, I thought she must be the most repulsive thing Ive ever known.
So I went home. I didnt even offer the cursory goodbyes, just left. And I dont think Ill be returning there calls anytime soon

Now Im trying to get some work done. Throw together some renderings, send out a few resumes, maintain the order.
This weekend Im meeting up with
steveneurotic to shoot a set. I'm more than a smidge nervous, considering I've never done anything like this. But I'm excited too - new experiences, new stories. It should be fun.