edit look at what I've done to my favorite girls. I've taken Fractal AND Flux AND Stormy off. Unthinkable. But there is a reason... I'm so bad 
I'm SICK! Also it's funny how Noelle looks like she is cowering in fear of Al.
I think I should sell something. I need $25. What can I sell? We are talking material goods here, don't get gross people. Ideas? Sadly I am not crafty. And I don't draw well enough to ask someone to commission me. So what could I sell...
BLAH! is how I felt most of today. Not only did I have a strong sense of ennui, I also felt a vague sense of RAGE
And then the day turned around but more on that later.
Got to get a job. Tomorrow I mean to call the temp agency and see if they can find me something until I get a real job.
Until then I'm going to have to work on a cover letter. Arghahuoreahfuoeiaghuiawof. I hate this!
I tried the overnight oatmeal and I didn't like it, not surprisingly! I'm so hard to please. I suck. Well maybe not but I hate that I don't like so much food.
But see ok. This morning I woke up around say 7:30am, before I'd even set my computer to play Annie to wake me up. I was quite wide awake too, but I found that since I had nothing to do, I said "screw it" and went back to sleep!
We got the local paper today so I'll look through that for some admin assistant type jobs or something. The thing is I don't want to stay in one of those very long because I'm guessing it won't be enough income to support the $600/month rent I'll have to start paying soon and the rest of my expensive expenses.
Companies ARE interested in me apparently, given that I do get calls from people who see my resume on the tech job website. But I hadn't gotten a call in a while before Northrup Grumman the other day. And I still haven't called them to find out what's going on. Blargh!
I need to start taking action. That sounds cheesy but you know what I mean. I need to start applying to jobs myself. I don't know if I'm still eligible for the school's career center site, probably not since I haven't heard anything from them in a while. That's where I found the internship I was doing earlier this year.
Buhhhhh... I WANT to find a job, I really do. I just hate applying, it's scary. But really I need to do SOMEthing here. I don't like spending every day like this anymore!
Another problem. I don't know how much of a salary to ask for. I don't know how much I'm worth. And I haven't figured out how much I'd need to be earning to afford rent. 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, approximately 120 hours a month? Well, if I earn $10/hour I'd earn less than $1,200 a month, meaning less than $600 to live on each month. I know to ask for more than $10/hour at this point.
I do like to buy things but in general I don't spend a lot of money per month. I'd have to figure out what my various subscriptions cost me per month. And get an idea for how much money I do spend. Like $100 for groceries a month? Or at least for a couple weeks?
I'd have to allot some of the money for "fun stuff" and also set aside some emergency funds in case I find myself having to shell out some extra dough for something unexpected.
Medication! That's going to be a big problem if I don't get a job with benefits. Jesus, my antipsychotic costs me $300 a month!! I can't find the bag that the Wellbutrin came in but I'm sure that costs at least $100-$200 a month.
And let's not forget therapy and psychiatrist appointments. Seriously, do you realize how expensive it is to have depression in this country? Not all therapists and psychiatrists DO health insurance, so in some cases you have to pay out of pocket no matter what. I currently pay my psychiatrist $100 per session, and lately we've been only seeing each other once a month, but if things are going badly I may see him twice in a month. That's a lot of money.
Clearly, I really need a job with benefits. Medication and therapy/psychiatrist is where most of my money goes these days. Shit!
Hey, would you look at that, I actually finished the cover letter. Seriously, I did. I'm going to run it by Redbeard3 to get his opinion. Maybe I should show it to you guys too.
Well that's a relief. I just showed myself I actually can do this. It's strange that I didn't experience any of the tongue-tiededness I felt when I first started working on that letter. I just zipped right through it pretty much.
Good! Maybe I can actually get a good job with benefits after all. I need one real bad. Reeeeeal bad.
In other news, Redbeard3 asked me a while back to make a little doodad to add "nano" to the beginning of any word 4 letters or longer. I had adlraey mdae the salcbrmer, wihch saclmebrs all the wdros but lveeas the frist and lsat letetrs the smae. Heh heh So I used that to make a prototype of the nanoizer. But I couldn't figure out how to get the punctuation to work.
If you're interested in the technical details, to handle punctuation for the scrambler I made an array that has a space for each letter or space in the text (actually it's not a space, it's just empty), and wherever there's punctuation, it stores the symbol in the appropriate spot. Then it puts the punctuation back in at the end based on the positions they were originally in.
For the nanoizer, I had to figure out how to handle the fact that I'd be adding four extra letters to certain words. I had to add four blank spaces (empty spots) to the punctuation array in the right spot. I had tried this when I first made the prototype, but I couldn't get it to work. Well, today I got it to work.
Nanoplay nanowith the nanoizer.
Redbeard3 is going to use it for a secret project
I even mention my making games in my spare time in the cover letter. I may take that part out but I think it would impress prospective employers that I also program in my spare time.
Now I realize I should make some Annie games
Redbeard3 gave me some ideas. Annie Tetris. Annie Dance Revolution
Trivia is a no go. I don't know enough about Annie and I don't think anyone else does yet either. Besides making a trivia game couldn't be more dull. It's not challenging to make. And yet, I like the idea of Annie choose your adventure...
Back when I had a Stevie Nicks fan page I had a Whack A Mole game except it was Whack a Mac (for Fleetwood Mac, oh the hilarity
) I don't think I'll make an Annie version though.
If I could figure out how to embed sound in a web page I could do "guess the song" but that would be hard because there are only a little over... 12 songs by her. I mean I could take many clips from just one song, but still. Maybe 12+ isn't enough. That would be pretty sweet though.
Yeah I have to do it. Heh heh heh. I'll figure out how to do sound and I'll make an Annie "guess the song". Then Tetris. And more.
When I left therapy I felt really really good. I had realized over the course of our session that I'm not as weird as I thought. I'm bright, engaging... maybe funny sometimes. I felt really good and confident. It was a nice change from being all down on myself all the time
The cover letter thing really turned the day around. I felt pretty great after that. YAY for action!
WILL YOU??????
I do, I do, I do
WILL YOU MARRY ME???????
I do, I do, I do
I'm SICK! Also it's funny how Noelle looks like she is cowering in fear of Al.
I think I should sell something. I need $25. What can I sell? We are talking material goods here, don't get gross people. Ideas? Sadly I am not crafty. And I don't draw well enough to ask someone to commission me. So what could I sell...
BLAH! is how I felt most of today. Not only did I have a strong sense of ennui, I also felt a vague sense of RAGE
And then the day turned around but more on that later.
Got to get a job. Tomorrow I mean to call the temp agency and see if they can find me something until I get a real job.
Until then I'm going to have to work on a cover letter. Arghahuoreahfuoeiaghuiawof. I hate this!
I tried the overnight oatmeal and I didn't like it, not surprisingly! I'm so hard to please. I suck. Well maybe not but I hate that I don't like so much food.
But see ok. This morning I woke up around say 7:30am, before I'd even set my computer to play Annie to wake me up. I was quite wide awake too, but I found that since I had nothing to do, I said "screw it" and went back to sleep!
We got the local paper today so I'll look through that for some admin assistant type jobs or something. The thing is I don't want to stay in one of those very long because I'm guessing it won't be enough income to support the $600/month rent I'll have to start paying soon and the rest of my expensive expenses.
Companies ARE interested in me apparently, given that I do get calls from people who see my resume on the tech job website. But I hadn't gotten a call in a while before Northrup Grumman the other day. And I still haven't called them to find out what's going on. Blargh!
I need to start taking action. That sounds cheesy but you know what I mean. I need to start applying to jobs myself. I don't know if I'm still eligible for the school's career center site, probably not since I haven't heard anything from them in a while. That's where I found the internship I was doing earlier this year.
Buhhhhh... I WANT to find a job, I really do. I just hate applying, it's scary. But really I need to do SOMEthing here. I don't like spending every day like this anymore!
Another problem. I don't know how much of a salary to ask for. I don't know how much I'm worth. And I haven't figured out how much I'd need to be earning to afford rent. 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week, approximately 120 hours a month? Well, if I earn $10/hour I'd earn less than $1,200 a month, meaning less than $600 to live on each month. I know to ask for more than $10/hour at this point.
I do like to buy things but in general I don't spend a lot of money per month. I'd have to figure out what my various subscriptions cost me per month. And get an idea for how much money I do spend. Like $100 for groceries a month? Or at least for a couple weeks?
I'd have to allot some of the money for "fun stuff" and also set aside some emergency funds in case I find myself having to shell out some extra dough for something unexpected.
Medication! That's going to be a big problem if I don't get a job with benefits. Jesus, my antipsychotic costs me $300 a month!! I can't find the bag that the Wellbutrin came in but I'm sure that costs at least $100-$200 a month.
And let's not forget therapy and psychiatrist appointments. Seriously, do you realize how expensive it is to have depression in this country? Not all therapists and psychiatrists DO health insurance, so in some cases you have to pay out of pocket no matter what. I currently pay my psychiatrist $100 per session, and lately we've been only seeing each other once a month, but if things are going badly I may see him twice in a month. That's a lot of money.
Clearly, I really need a job with benefits. Medication and therapy/psychiatrist is where most of my money goes these days. Shit!
Hey, would you look at that, I actually finished the cover letter. Seriously, I did. I'm going to run it by Redbeard3 to get his opinion. Maybe I should show it to you guys too.
Well that's a relief. I just showed myself I actually can do this. It's strange that I didn't experience any of the tongue-tiededness I felt when I first started working on that letter. I just zipped right through it pretty much.
Good! Maybe I can actually get a good job with benefits after all. I need one real bad. Reeeeeal bad.
In other news, Redbeard3 asked me a while back to make a little doodad to add "nano" to the beginning of any word 4 letters or longer. I had adlraey mdae the salcbrmer, wihch saclmebrs all the wdros but lveeas the frist and lsat letetrs the smae. Heh heh
So I used that to make a prototype of the nanoizer. But I couldn't figure out how to get the punctuation to work.
If you're interested in the technical details, to handle punctuation for the scrambler I made an array that has a space for each letter or space in the text (actually it's not a space, it's just empty), and wherever there's punctuation, it stores the symbol in the appropriate spot. Then it puts the punctuation back in at the end based on the positions they were originally in.
For the nanoizer, I had to figure out how to handle the fact that I'd be adding four extra letters to certain words. I had to add four blank spaces (empty spots) to the punctuation array in the right spot. I had tried this when I first made the prototype, but I couldn't get it to work. Well, today I got it to work.
Nanoplay nanowith the nanoizer.
Redbeard3 is going to use it for a secret project
I even mention my making games in my spare time in the cover letter. I may take that part out but I think it would impress prospective employers that I also program in my spare time.
Now I realize I should make some Annie games
Redbeard3 gave me some ideas. Annie Tetris. Annie Dance Revolution
Trivia is a no go. I don't know enough about Annie and I don't think anyone else does yet either. Besides making a trivia game couldn't be more dull. It's not challenging to make. And yet, I like the idea of Annie choose your adventure...
Back when I had a Stevie Nicks fan page I had a Whack A Mole game except it was Whack a Mac (for Fleetwood Mac, oh the hilarity
) I don't think I'll make an Annie version though.
If I could figure out how to embed sound in a web page I could do "guess the song" but that would be hard because there are only a little over... 12 songs by her. I mean I could take many clips from just one song, but still. Maybe 12+ isn't enough. That would be pretty sweet though.
Yeah I have to do it. Heh heh heh. I'll figure out how to do sound and I'll make an Annie "guess the song". Then Tetris. And more.
When I left therapy I felt really really good. I had realized over the course of our session that I'm not as weird as I thought. I'm bright, engaging... maybe funny sometimes. I felt really good and confident. It was a nice change from being all down on myself all the time
The cover letter thing really turned the day around. I felt pretty great after that. YAY for action!
WILL YOU??????
I do, I do, I do
WILL YOU MARRY ME???????
I do, I do, I do
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I hate how everything for job hunting is so impersonal now. What happened to taking your resume and application into a place and meeting HR people.
[Edited on Sep 08, 2005 7:14PM]