linkismyhero

Those kids that laughed when they walked by were the "wannabe thug" type. Lots of those in this area. I guess "punk kid" is my general term for no-good jerk kids, no matter what their variety. Assholes.

I've been reading a lot. I finished Holes. It was cute. Now I'm starting on Life, the Universe, and Everything. Pretty sharp contrast between the cute kids' book and the cynical adults' book. Though Hitchhikers is not necessarily just for adults (maybe), but it takes an adult to fully appreciate the humor I guess. And Holes wasn't all fun and games, there was a bit of violence. So maybe "cute kids' book" and "cynical adults' book" are both poor descriptions. One can only say so much with words.

Mom and I went for a walk this afternoon. She wanted to walk to this creek under a bridge near some of those big power line things that stretch across the land. The sun was hot and the clouds weren't always nice enough to block it out for us.

We walked to the creek and it was okay. It wasn't really flowing. Bet there's tons of mosquitos growing in there We started walking back and mom wanted to stop at McDonalds for a salad and a milkshake. Really healthy. I was thirsty so I wanted a milkshake too but I said they probably put beef fat in them or something. That's probably not true but I wouldn't put it past them. I was going to have one anyway.

We got to McDonalds and got the stuff. The guy behind the counter didn't put the top on one of the milkshake cups properly and it splooshed out of the top when he went to pick it up so he had to make a new one. The milkshake was pretty bad. Mom gave me one of the grape tomatoes from the salad and it was pretty bad. She got the Caesar salad (she's still doing the vegetarian thing so there was no meat) but I pointed out that Caesar dressing always has anchovies in it, which it did. It also had Worcestershire sauce.

I drank some of the milkshake but after a while I couldn't stand to drink anymore. It was gross. Es war schlecht. In any language, it sucked. We threw it out and walked to the park nearby (same place I went to read but a different section of it). The sports bar was playing Funkytown and I said the line from the Simpsons "I haven't felt this way since Funkytown."

I had commented earlier that mom seemed less goofy today (she's gotten really weird as I said) but of course I spoke too soon. Just play a goofy song like Funkytown and it gets her started.

I was in the shower and started to have a panic attack. It was right around that time that I remembered I had therapy today. I don't really like going to therapy. And if I'm having a panic attack while I'm there I can't concentrate, so I hardly say anything. I keep stopping and I have such trouble concentrating that I can't come up with anything to say.

The panic attack lasted from 4:30 until about, say, 11pm.

Mom got upset. It came to light that I've been paying my therapist the full fee. I've had so much other stuff to worry about that I didn't even realize it. Mom kind of freaked out because I can't afford that. There was other stuff I did today that was bothering her. Like my leaving food out on the counter instead of covering it up and putting it in the fridge. And other things. She started telling me that I have to take care of myself, that she can't do it for me... I don't want to think about it, it really hurt my feelings like really bad. Really really bad. I look forward to moving away from that.

She came in later and kind of apologized but not exactly. I felt a little better after that but I'm still upset. But she seemed a little more confident in my ability to take care of myself.

And now it's late and my stomach is a little upset. And I'm fretting over the fact that my Annie lyrics pages aren't being indexed by Google. I don't get it! I don't want to talk about that either, it's upsetting to me. Blargh

I better read more Life, the Universe, and Everything. They've garble warble farble. They've table warble farble. They've garble warble fashes. They've taken the Ashes.

Won't you take me to
FUNKYTOWN??????