Wow, crazy. Missy's candid sets are always so fun. Siv shot it and it is pretty great.
When I went to Borders today to get the Sound of Music soundtrack and DVD (they didn't have the DVD) the first thing I saw walking into the store was this big display of sudoku books. I was a bit surprised. So I grabbed all the books and paid over $70 for them and the soundtrack.
You know that part in The Sound of Music where Maria and Captain Von Trapp are dancing in the garden at his manor during the party, and things start to get a little... hot? I love that part. So romantic.
I heard back from a girl to whom I wrote about a room she's renting, and her place sounds really great. Unfortunately the rent is high, $800/month. I'd have to get a job pretty soon so I could pay for it. But I do hope it works out, it's not too far away and we sound like a good match. I just hope our respective cats get along, and my cat doesn't try to attack my townhouse-mate.
I ordered a new headlight for Annie (the car). I don't mean a bulb (I keep spelling it "blub") but the actual outer plastic part. There's a hole with cracks around it in the passenger side headlight that's been there at least a month or two, probably more. I want to take good care of my car. Unfortunately with my car being a '96 Toyota Tercel, it was a little pricey. One site wanted to me to spend $65 for it, one eBay auction was going to make me spend over $70. I found one on eBay for about $30 without shipping, about $45 with. And bought it. Soon Annie's passenger-side headlight will look good as new. I look forward to it.
Okay. You may have caught on to the muted tone that's been present throughout this entry. Here's why. I'm troubled. About Annie. Stupid, isn't it? I'm feeling pretty awful though. I'm going to ask you to read this and give me your thoughts, because I think I need to hear some ideas from a perspective that is not my own. I'm too caught up in things, and I can't seem to see clearly on this.
I can't even bear to think about Annie these past few days. I'm wondering why that is. Something has definitely changed because it used to be exciting to imagine meeting her some day. Now it's just awful to think about, because I just see it going horribly wrong. I guess I'm just especially down on myself lately because I keep thinking she'll think I'm the biggest bore, the biggest loser imaginable.
I really should try to convince myself that any meeting I might happen to have with her will be extremely brief with minimal conversation, and there won't even be time enough for any of my more unfavorable traits to become apparent to her. In all likelihood that's how it would go. "Hi, nice to meet you, I look forward to your show, take care, bye." The end. Of course, that doesn't make me feel any better.
Thinking about Annie makes me uneasy now. I think I might sum it up by saying I don't know her as well as I think I do. I'm reminded of Ani DiFranco's words "I just want you to live up to / the image of you I create". Are my illusions about Annie shattered every time I learn something new about her?
I can't follow that train of thought anymore, it's upsetting me. I'm taking things too seriously. It's probably most advisable to take a big step back... I just don't want to go on feeling like this.
Maybe, after these two months of non-stop hardcore fandom, I've just made myself sick of her, just as I'm sure you all are. I look at my poster of her and it's like I'm looking at a blank wall. I listen to her album and it's like nothing's playing. I'm not even exaggerating, that's exactly how it feels. I guess I need a break from Annie. Maybe it was bound to happen.
When I went to Borders today to get the Sound of Music soundtrack and DVD (they didn't have the DVD) the first thing I saw walking into the store was this big display of sudoku books. I was a bit surprised. So I grabbed all the books and paid over $70 for them and the soundtrack.
You know that part in The Sound of Music where Maria and Captain Von Trapp are dancing in the garden at his manor during the party, and things start to get a little... hot? I love that part. So romantic.
I heard back from a girl to whom I wrote about a room she's renting, and her place sounds really great. Unfortunately the rent is high, $800/month. I'd have to get a job pretty soon so I could pay for it. But I do hope it works out, it's not too far away and we sound like a good match. I just hope our respective cats get along, and my cat doesn't try to attack my townhouse-mate.
I ordered a new headlight for Annie (the car). I don't mean a bulb (I keep spelling it "blub") but the actual outer plastic part. There's a hole with cracks around it in the passenger side headlight that's been there at least a month or two, probably more. I want to take good care of my car. Unfortunately with my car being a '96 Toyota Tercel, it was a little pricey. One site wanted to me to spend $65 for it, one eBay auction was going to make me spend over $70. I found one on eBay for about $30 without shipping, about $45 with. And bought it. Soon Annie's passenger-side headlight will look good as new. I look forward to it.
Okay. You may have caught on to the muted tone that's been present throughout this entry. Here's why. I'm troubled. About Annie. Stupid, isn't it? I'm feeling pretty awful though. I'm going to ask you to read this and give me your thoughts, because I think I need to hear some ideas from a perspective that is not my own. I'm too caught up in things, and I can't seem to see clearly on this.
I can't even bear to think about Annie these past few days. I'm wondering why that is. Something has definitely changed because it used to be exciting to imagine meeting her some day. Now it's just awful to think about, because I just see it going horribly wrong. I guess I'm just especially down on myself lately because I keep thinking she'll think I'm the biggest bore, the biggest loser imaginable.
I really should try to convince myself that any meeting I might happen to have with her will be extremely brief with minimal conversation, and there won't even be time enough for any of my more unfavorable traits to become apparent to her. In all likelihood that's how it would go. "Hi, nice to meet you, I look forward to your show, take care, bye." The end. Of course, that doesn't make me feel any better.
Thinking about Annie makes me uneasy now. I think I might sum it up by saying I don't know her as well as I think I do. I'm reminded of Ani DiFranco's words "I just want you to live up to / the image of you I create". Are my illusions about Annie shattered every time I learn something new about her?
I can't follow that train of thought anymore, it's upsetting me. I'm taking things too seriously. It's probably most advisable to take a big step back... I just don't want to go on feeling like this.
Maybe, after these two months of non-stop hardcore fandom, I've just made myself sick of her, just as I'm sure you all are. I look at my poster of her and it's like I'm looking at a blank wall. I listen to her album and it's like nothing's playing. I'm not even exaggerating, that's exactly how it feels. I guess I need a break from Annie. Maybe it was bound to happen.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
redbeard3:
Hi Caz, I'm sorry you are still feeling down. I guess knowing from the way I feel about my own heart-throb, I know somewhat how you have felt about fantasizing and wanting so much to meet her sometime, and I also understand the feelings of being somewhat afraid of being rejected or embarassed if that time would ever come. I have thought, what if I met her, what would I say that would be interesting charming and make her think to herself, hey this guy's not some creep, he's really cool. My other thought on the idea of meeting her was that why should I try to put on a show and be something that I think she would like, I am who I am as Popeye would say and if she didn't find me interesting well that is her loss, and besides, who knows if I would really like her if I ever met her in person. I don't think you really need to worry about not being cool enough for Annie. Beyond being a music star, she's really just a regular person that probably doesn't have the "superstar" mentallity. I think she'd find meeting you pretty cool.
cheech:
Hmm. I guess the closest I've come to that lately is Napoleon Dynamite. I was watching it a year ago and didn't feel into it at all... but I think overall I'm still into it. Just maybe not the same old exact jokes everyone keeps quoting....