linkismyhero

edit: Okay, there goes the new profile pic. Let's see how many people line up to diss me NOW!

I can hardly wait to hold you
feel my arms around you
how long I have waited
waited just to love you
now that I have found you
don't ever go...

Susanna Hoffs does a mean rendition of that song on the first Austin Powers soundtrack. But Dusty's version is a classic. (Yes, I own the first Austin Powers soundtrack. And I am not even slightly embarrassed, so there!)

Wow. Bacharach rocks. LA is a great big freeway, put a hundred down and buy a car... I love you, Burt.

Well okay. Annie herself replied to the question I asked her on her official forum! That was so great

Then, sadness again. Just won't quit! In fact, the sads were sad enough to sad me from sadding the other draft of this journal entry I was working on. Which is sad, because I was so super crazy happy about Annie's reply. Now the moment has passed, and I can't post what I wrote. To give you an idea there was an "EEEEEEEE" and "wowzers" and "holy crap" and "I want to MAKE KISSES with Annie" in there (only if she wanted to of course).

What killed it was reading the other posts on her forum. It really made me super sad to see music bringing out the worst in people like I've been seeing it do here on SG. What gives? There was a rant here but I decided I'd rather not release the venom. I guess I'll leave the main point (which is actually unrelated to the posts I read on her forum pretty much): Music, on one level, is entertainment. I believe that if you're entertained, it's good music. And if you're not, look elsewhere. I realize that music isn't just entertainment and musicians are trying to accomplish things like capture styles (even Annie), and criticism of such things is fine if you don't think they did a good job. But calling someone an idiot for enjoying something is mean. Personal attacks are gross, and people should be aware that SG cites "hurtful remarks" as not being tolerated.

I don't know. I'm not sure where the un-posted (and now overwritten) rant came from but I guess I'm getting fed up with life right now. I guess being stressed trying to recover from a bad situation can get me all worked up inside. Even with my edited not-so-much-of-a-rant I worry people might call me on it, and now's a bad time for argument for me. I should say more things like that though. Maybe I should have left the rant there.

I'm almost tempted to post excerpts from the rant in every "let's diss the musical artist of the day" thread I see on the stupid music boards. I wouldn't dare.

Annie has to put up with a lot on her forum. I'm hoping the other moderator reads everything and lets her know what's a-ok and what to avoid so she doesn't have to read some of that shit. It's extremely cool she answers fans' questions directly (I have another question for her too) but I don't hold a lot of hope for the official forum of any artist. I guess being a Bjrk fan I should have already realized how awful offical artist forums can get. And there's really not much anybody can do. The moderators try their best but it's kind of a lost cause. Why? Why is it like that? I know the answer I guess, but I'm asking anyway.

Meh. I commented in a "let's bash LOTR" thread and it made me sadder. Speaking my mind in those threads is probably not wise, at least in terms of making me feel any better about life. Since I was writing this anyway I felt compelled to take a look and say a little something, and I wish I hadn't. No more.

I have this fear that someone will start a thread bashing ME directly. And that staff will laugh at me when I try to complain. I'm too young to flag comments yet. But it's sad I'd think that at this point. I think staff would be more supportive than that but I'm paranoid.

Speaking of staff, Clara just posted in my puzzles group that the Scrabble group died, and she moved everyone from it to my group Now I have over 100 members I posted asking the Scrabble folks if there anything they'd like me to do more of in the group... hopefully nobody will be mad the Scrabble group got shut down and we can coexist happily and have fun.

(Written yesterday) I think I should force myself to make some phone calls tomorrow, one to the vet and take Shadow in to figure out why he's being such a jackass, and two to make an appointment to get my car checked up. It has a few problems that concern me. Sometimes it will "kick" as it's going along. Like sort of jerk back a second. Doesn't happen very often at all but it's happened enough times that I'm concerned. Then there's the problem that's mostly gone, with the undercarriage or exhaust kind of buzzing when I drive, like something's loose down there. There's also the steering getting kind of wobbly sometimes. Occasionally the wheels will literally wobble a little for a while. Not good. Aside from all that it needs its regular lube/oil/filter done and all that. Hopefully this isn't the beginning of the end and hopefully these are problems that are easily and relatively cheaply fixed. Now I figure you all will tell me the horrible things these omens mean and I'll feel an even WORSE sense of despair about life.

(Written earlier) Ok. So I called, and I'll be taking Shadow to the vet in less than an hour. I'm taking my car in Friday, I have to leave it there all day so they can try to figure out why it "kicks" sometimes. But the problem is so intermittent that it will be hard to track down. Hopefully it will stay intermittent but I suspect it will indeed get worse. They didn't seem to care about my car's other problems. h8rs.

(Few hours ago) Okay just got back from da vet. Could be hyperthyroid though he's a little young for that. They took his blood and will call me back with the bloodwork results tomorrow. For now they gave me an herbal extract drop to put in his water to try to calm him. Hope it works. He's actually lost 10 ounces, here I thought he was looking chunkier and gaining weight because he bugs him so damn much that we end up feeding him more. Good thing, his ears are fine. From time to time he gets really dirty, irritated, and sometimes infected ears because of his skin allergy, and we're bad because we have such a hard time cleaning them and he hates it so much that we don't have the nerve to do it. In the office he kept sitting in my lap, and when they went to pick him up he'd cling to my clothes. They clipped his nails, which is good.

Most of the following is from the original entry I was working on.

So after Twinkie's comment I rushed right out and bought The Very Best of Burt Bacharach. It was in Easy Listening which is okay I guess. I guess. It took me a little while to get up the nerve to take it to the counter because 1) I suck 2) there were a crapload of other albums I wanted to buy, but Borders being lame it had absolutely none of the stuff I wanted. I really need to find a real record store around here.

I got my deck of SG playing cards yesterday! They rock! What sucked though was that it was well-nigh impossible to open. I ripped the crap out of it trying to open it. And bled in it from having to shove my finger behind the flap. I think I'm going to buy another deck so I have one that isn't all ripped up. But my favorites are Reagan and DebraJean, I love the way they're drawn. It's way distracting to try to play solitaire with a bunch of hot ladies staring up at you. Also it's a little problematic that the numbers and letters and suit symbols are all brown, not red and black. But yay, I have a nice deck of cards now, not like the awful one I got at the hospital.

The problem with decks of cards is, if I have one sitting in front of me, I'll compulsively shuffle it a million times for no reason even if I'm not about to play a game. Am I weird or do some of you do that too? Card shuffling is a nice, relaxing activity. It feels good, it looks cool.

Yesterday I was driving home from the psychiatrist appointment, and there was a thunderstorm going on and the sky lit up more times in a short span than I'd ever seen before. For over a half hour. It might have been beautiful to others but for me it was rather scary and distracting. When I got home, I ran from my car to the "breezeway" (as they call it) because I didn't want to die. From getting struck by lightning. You know.

I have a new profile pic lined up (you guessed it, Annie) and the planned name change to CruxPlusOne, but right now I'm so down that even Annie is getting me down. I can't explain it really. I guess I'm just that depressed.

Speaking of depressed, mom and I had a "talk". She said, well, stuff, but it actually made me feel a lot better because this time she voiced genuine concern for me and I really wasn't hearing that from her before. That's all I needed, really. Even the stuff she said that could have bothered me didn't really. She does want the best for me. I knew she cared about me, but she showed it now. She even gave me advice on how to work on the things I'm struggling with right now. It made me feel a lot better.

Here is a pro about being a girl: boobs. They really are fun.

Here is a con about being a girl: menstruation. Not fun at all. It's gross and just as bad as it sounds. Maybe worse. Did you know that even if a woman gets a hysterectomy (i.e. getting rid of the uterus i.e. where babies grow and the blood comes from every month) she still has her ovaries and will thus still go through the menstrual cycle, just without the blood? That means she can still get PMS. Worse, if she does get the ovaries taken out, unless I'm misinformed, she goes through instant menopause. That must be a bitch.

I need to start reading this book. Thanks to mom hurting my feelings over it I haven't been able to bring myself to. Sad. But I feel better after our talk, so maybe I'll be more inclined to pick it up.

Lesson: the most infuriating way to respond to a question to which you can only/are expected to agree or answer "yes" is to instead say "sure". Works for some other questions too.
Example:

Person A: "You realize nobody here likes you?"
Person B: "Sure."

I know from experience that it's extremely infuriating. Try it out on someone who's bothering you.

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

I run for the bus, dear
while riding I think of us, dear
I say a little prayer for yooooou

(What a great song... how does he come up with those chord progressions? He's obviously a brillant guy, that's how! Hooray for... Burt.)