lily

Queen of early constellations, I woke up with blood in my brain. I tried to kill a man in my dreams. Trigger finger got fucked and now i'm awake and wishing he was dead. Killing off thoughts of desolation/seperation. But its deeper than inside my head, It's here, all around me/us. I can't seem to cure this disease, or anyone elses. I was copping rachel dope for two days so she would stay in the hospital, she's got infections in her heart. When the nazi doctor told us that i just nodded, It seemed right, of course her heart is dying. She signed out today against medical advice. Well how can i save you, i can't even save myself? She's on st.marks somewhere selling her infectuos heart for too cheap.
I stayed on the 9th floor with my old dope dealer, he's a skeletal mess living with the murder junkies from G.G. Allins band. They terrorize their neighbors by throwing syringes at their windows when they go to close the blinds. He kicked the book shelf open and he llives behind there in a small dark enclosed space and on his deck you can see all the lights in the city. He's making a collage of his empty dope bags. I told him he has to find a new god.
And here in brooklyn, i sucked so much out of someone, I wonder if i could ever pay him back. I wonder if i should run.
Thanks for your death answers.
Lily