lily

both my homeboys got arrested at the protests. i didn't really understand why. I guess nowadays throwing rocks in windows and tagging and blocking traffic is called "disturbing the peace". pfffffffffft. anyways i was too quick. It sucked having to wait like 3 days to see their dirty tired ass eyes again though. They arrested like 1,600 protesters here. speaking of jail i got my court date moved back once again, now its Oct 5th. My public defender says this is my last chance to show up and get my time over with. yeah we all live in a facist state, right? ANYWAYS the city was too much for me tonight. i kept watching all those strange faces wander aimlessly, i saw Rachel, My little whore friend with all her front teeth busted out standing on st.marks with bare feet and a long red shirt on and thats it speaking so softly. I asked her what was wrong with her as i held her in my arms. see she's at least 7 years older than me but mentally she's a child, and i want to be her mother alot. We are both motherless children, lost and suffering. She said she had caught pnemonia probably because of her HIV and had escaped the hospital because she was dope sick and they wouldn't give her any methadone. I told her "Fuck Bitch, If i would have known that shit i would have gone and copped dope just for you or brought your ass methadone to the hospital." She really worried me standing there with bare feet trying to pick up a trick with her voiceless voice. She wanted to know if i could help her get rid of two 20's of crack so she could get well. I told her sometimes i wished i was a prince and she was like this modern day cinderella and i wished i could rescue her. she tried to laugh but couldn't quite. seeing her made my stomach feel sick for the rest of the night. made my eyes well up with tears randomly on the subway. Made me want to escape this city and all its evils, killing my homegirls with its chemical warefare on its streets. fuck this. I read some girls Tattoo today that said "I'D RATHER DIE ON MY FEET THAN LIVE ON MY KNEES" i feel like that alot.
Love, Prince Lil