lily

I had this dream when i was dying in the bathroom, choking on my spit. she appeared like some goddess transformed and i ran out of that junkie house, crying and awake but still not quite alive. I ran into my vision on the corner with tears baptizing her shoulders. fuck. mary says the sparkly queen does exist and i believe it now cause she held me in her arms shaking and wrote me a little poem on her napkin. And if i could choose a mother, it would be her, cause mine is locked up and dead to me. They keep painting over our graffitti, we keep living the struggle. I got kicked out of barnes and noble yesterday for being homeless. boycott barnes and noble man. they told me i was driving off customers. but thats cool cause this is Texas and the cops are allowed to discriminate. i made it a point to write that cops badge number in black ink on my hand in front of him before i left then he threatened to arrest me for criminal trespassing. I don't want to go back to jail, but march 8th is like my death date. I'd rather do two months in jail than 5 years probation and have to stay in texas. Plus my homegirls are still locked up so it wouldn't be too bad. i remember the sound on the loudspeaker. "rack up ladies, rack up."
and those black and white stripes. These streets are a warzone. so many are blind though. everyone in jail was either black or poor. I know 2 street kids that have od'd and died in the past month. I keep pieces of them in my pockets to remember the war.
Love, Lily