So many months past since I last wrote.
The promised land is always shattered, I think as I extend my thumb to the sky, just a cowgirl with the blues, woke up with a bottle of whiskey still in my hand, next to my foster brother, threw on someone elses sweater, light fading and walked to the highway stomping, determined in my leather boots. I left the little hell in the wasteland/nowhere to the assholes with no souls to destruct and of course they did, A knife in the wall and lipstick graffitti art screaming from the white vouid "I LOVED YOU".
I ashed my cigarette and let fate take control, let her take me somewhere far away. Rides with truckers and suckers and sadists and lovers into the city, my junk yard hope starlight city screaming my name like a mother who lost its child.
Squatted in an alleyway with a date rapist with bad facial tattoos. One day he ripped out my dreams and recreated them. The nightmare i've lived with quiet since 13, blood on my thighs and my foot tapping the floor. I walked away disillusioned, looking for an old friend, holding onto that pitbull, My hair tangled red like fire.
Found his love like an old handgun. He walked dreamless like he couldn't sleep. kissed me raw in that doorway the same night.I liked his poetry. Hypnotized and healed by the bluest eyes like oceans and his own madness. I held his hand as we fell asleep like two tired angels on that subway car and I thought maybe he could teach me to love again. His breath on my back.Lovejonsed.
Halloween night , My mama mentor faded upwards. I could telepathically feel her heart stop and it broke mine. Under the newyork skyline I live with other AIDS orphans in a shelter. No more silver handcuffs sinking into my wrists like sunday, mascara smudged and sweaty. Fate still dances here, watches over me, my angels, singing me songs of redemption.
Love, Lily
P.s. It will be a lonely christmas this year. If you want to make a gypsy orphan smile, here is my wishlist, ILoveYou
Q:if you could do anything you wanted right now, what would you do?
My answer, I'd have wings so I could fly to go see dia jara, my muse.
The promised land is always shattered, I think as I extend my thumb to the sky, just a cowgirl with the blues, woke up with a bottle of whiskey still in my hand, next to my foster brother, threw on someone elses sweater, light fading and walked to the highway stomping, determined in my leather boots. I left the little hell in the wasteland/nowhere to the assholes with no souls to destruct and of course they did, A knife in the wall and lipstick graffitti art screaming from the white vouid "I LOVED YOU".
I ashed my cigarette and let fate take control, let her take me somewhere far away. Rides with truckers and suckers and sadists and lovers into the city, my junk yard hope starlight city screaming my name like a mother who lost its child.
Squatted in an alleyway with a date rapist with bad facial tattoos. One day he ripped out my dreams and recreated them. The nightmare i've lived with quiet since 13, blood on my thighs and my foot tapping the floor. I walked away disillusioned, looking for an old friend, holding onto that pitbull, My hair tangled red like fire.
Found his love like an old handgun. He walked dreamless like he couldn't sleep. kissed me raw in that doorway the same night.I liked his poetry. Hypnotized and healed by the bluest eyes like oceans and his own madness. I held his hand as we fell asleep like two tired angels on that subway car and I thought maybe he could teach me to love again. His breath on my back.Lovejonsed.
Halloween night , My mama mentor faded upwards. I could telepathically feel her heart stop and it broke mine. Under the newyork skyline I live with other AIDS orphans in a shelter. No more silver handcuffs sinking into my wrists like sunday, mascara smudged and sweaty. Fate still dances here, watches over me, my angels, singing me songs of redemption.
Love, Lily
P.s. It will be a lonely christmas this year. If you want to make a gypsy orphan smile, here is my wishlist, ILoveYou
Q:if you could do anything you wanted right now, what would you do?
My answer, I'd have wings so I could fly to go see dia jara, my muse.
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i'm a capricorn too. well, sagi cusp. crazy either way.