lily

Richard took a bunch more pictures before i left.
we went down to east river park for this project he is working on.
I left the city last night. watched the city lights fade behind me and secretly wished death upon 3.6 million people.............
One of my old friends was there, sleeping in east river park. we drank alot of beer together and talked shit. I could feel my liver the next day. it hurt so bad. He wants me to travel with him, I'm sick of the whole scene though, I am comfortable living in my van instead of an abandoned building or an alleyway. I got real sick of getting woken up by the cops and seeing people freak out all the time, and i'm making money doing my modeling, and stripping, and writing. who the fuck would want to be homeless anyways?
I guess alot of the kids i met on the road were doing it cause they thought it was cool, but i just didn't have a place to go.
It's a freeing feeling though to some extent.
I don't know.
I still feel like i'm dying from a million different things each day. I have all these dreams about it.
I don't know where to go next. I think i'll open my map and close my eyes and spit.
Love, Lily