lily

"love was your great dissapointment"


i watched new york city fade behind me on the china town bus to philly that took me places i'd only daydreamed of, holding Jim's hand in the car listening to Lou Reed. Only certain seconds of life are beautiful.

Then there was richmond, VA. Me, Cass, And Nicki....The only three gutter kids in the whole town and there was no beer store open for miles....we did have quite the adventure trying though, hopping over fences and shit. I hope you both made it north safely.

Alabama I shared my seat on the bus with a friendly looking redneck with prison tattoos. He thought it was funny that I was anti-racist yet sang skrewdriver songs with him.


Life is a fucking paradox.....

and into polunsky unit........AKA HELL.........They gave me a big yellow chain to wear that said "DEATH ROW" on it. I waited in a huge room of condemned men for him to come see me. He immediately put his hand up against the glass and my heart shattered a little. I saw John King. The "White supremist" dude that dragged that black man by the back of his pick up until he died. I shielded my eyes from so much energy. I prayed incessantly. If you press your hand up against the glass hard enough, you can feel the other person. I knew love that day. More than I ever have....and i'm going to lose it january 17th when they execute him. He has my name tattooed on his fingers. That's the only thing that will be eternal.

And in the midst of this energy suckout, My homegirl Voltaire called. I love her like a sister and needed to hear her voice so bad.

I wonder if I keep crying, maybe, eventually, the tears will dry out and i'll be reborn.


I don't have much computer access, Squatting in Austin.


"And when they said, repent, I wonder what they meant"-L.Cohen

Love, Lily