lily

Got back from Philly to this wasteland. I opened a squat in North Philly with Carmelita. She would play guitar at night and I would freestyle with whiskey. Back in the city that never sleeps. Headed to Vermont for a minute. My gypsy blood is freezing. Going west soon. Well south then west, Hopefully I'll get to a little place I like to call Hell before they execute my friend on death row. He's going crazy. Shuffles shackled feet all day and finds freedom only in dreams. There's this girl that I love, more than anything, I would die for her. Her eyes tell a thousand lost stories of hope. Her dark skin is a map of her struggle. Today she told me that she's joining the army and I couldn't stop crying. She doesn't have the luxury of choice. She has babies running wild back in the Dominican republic. She saved all her money from whoring to get them medicine. I screamed through the electric wires "Why? You could die." She said calmly in her still broken English "It's better to die once and stay dead than to die every day and then have to get back up and fuck again." Silence at the end of my line. All the fight I had left in me died and I just sank back into the tiles of the bathroom floor and cried. The whoring was killing her and now the army will own her, but these CEO'S and these wallstreet fucks that steal a piece of her everytime, they don't know her soul like I do. She has enough love in her heart to stop every war and.fuck its just wasted breathe now. It's final. As far as I'm concerned she's dead as soon as she leaves. I wish I could just go back to that time when I was in her arms and she let her smiles live so loosely and I'd sing to her "Baby, lets have a baby before bush do something crazy."......I'd give her my life, if she would take it. It's not worth much with this decaying liver. The doctor says I have 5 years left to live and all of my dreams have been so vivid and prophetic, night after night, all involving DEATH. Change is coming. Like a fucking hurricane.