lily

I was on the other side of the train tracks, when i felt cold metal to my head and a familiar voice say "Okay you fucking bitch, give me all your money or i swear to fucking god, I'll kill you" I looked up and saw this crazy kid i used to hang out with, He had blood in his eyes, LOCO CHOLO. I wondered if he would take the gun out of my face if he recognized me or if he was in too much of a altered state to do even that but as soon as i looked up he started laughing, Pounded my shoulder real hard and said "Shit, bitch, sorry, I didn't know it was you.", I was laughing too, But looking back it wasn't all that funny, with his blank sociopathic stare and the bloodstains on his shoes. And all this frozen time i thought he had made an early grave long with all of the other lost warriors, gone too soon, gone bad, just gone wrong. The story was much worse than that I guess. paper chasing capitalists exist in all forms. I had tears in my eyes when i waved goodbye. For five years I just kept running, never looking back, and its like i almost forgot what i was running from but now that i have had time to stop and look around, I remember it all so clear, I was running from society. This big black suckout of a world that turns smart kids into hypocrites with handguns, spitting out just as much hate as they've had to suck in. "The first thing we learn to do when we are born, SUCK...or die." And if i knew where the last breath took me, maybe i'd already be gone from this planet, But my mind is a idealist dreamer that hopes to find a utopia of sorts while still breathing. I know, Pretty fucking stupid.
Love, Lily






I miss this ^

Some of these thoughts and pictures were created a few months ago but I kept clicking the update button and didn't want to send out all the blankness thats here with me.

Q- If you could be anywhere right now? where would you be?

I would be watching the sunsets in holland talking philosiphy with Dia Jara, my beautiful muse.


P.s. What the fuck? Mei is now in the archive.