okay she said, place your hand in mine and this road is a neverending one. built all across the world thats dying. I wish i could burn this city down on my way out of town. I wish the terrorists would have hit a republican state like this one. I'd go down in the flames, dirty red hair and all.
Go down laughing and call...
Read More
Go down laughing and call...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 30 COMMENTS
I had this dream when i was dying in the bathroom, choking on my spit. she appeared like some goddess transformed and i ran out of that junkie house, crying and awake but still not quite alive. I ran into my vision on the corner with tears baptizing her shoulders. fuck. mary says the sparkly queen does exist and i believe it now cause she...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
fractal:
I just finished a novel, and the girl the boy loved had your face in my mind. It was called Perv, A Love Story.
And I have convicted myself to read all the titles listed in your favorites, but it won't be from BandN.
And I have convicted myself to read all the titles listed in your favorites, but it won't be from BandN.
thora:
I just wanted to stop by and give you a hug. 
You know, I was in a band called Apocalypse Theater for a couple years, and from what I've read in your profile, it seems like you would really appreciate their lifestyle. I also have Diamanda in my faves, and did Let My people Go for my Protea CD. The biggest compliment was having a radio station mix one of my songs with her Swing Low...I go by Sapphire at work, btw, and I saw that you had A.D. in your books... 
Oh, and Tribe 8 lived in my bf's basement. He used to have sex with them because, since they were lesbians, there were no strings attached. To me that would be more bi, but i do know of lesbians who occasionally have sex with men, although those men are usually gay, which brings me full circle to the bi thing...
[Edited on Feb 12, 2004 5:35AM]
You know, I was in a band called Apocalypse Theater for a couple years, and from what I've read in your profile, it seems like you would really appreciate their lifestyle. I also have Diamanda in my faves, and did Let My people Go for my Protea CD. The biggest compliment was having a radio station mix one of my songs with her Swing Low...I go by Sapphire at work, btw, and I saw that you had A.D. in your books... Oh, and Tribe 8 lived in my bf's basement. He used to have sex with them because, since they were lesbians, there were no strings attached. To me that would be more bi, but i do know of lesbians who occasionally have sex with men, although those men are usually gay, which brings me full circle to the bi thing...
[Edited on Feb 12, 2004 5:35AM]
I'm out of being institutionalized. My veins are recovering. I creep out and paint the walls at night. Make these words endless cause i know i'm dying and this ain't no metaphore. viruses in my bloodstream. can you fight off the world girl? make it shatter like the glass on the floor of that police car. The police here know me by name now. they...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
sjtwelve:
i thought about lily all day yesterday. it's fucked up. i don't know lily. but i recited poems and prayers all day and i sent them to her in the wind.
soma__:
i just wanted to say i think your entries are really amazing- very intense and really poetic. i wish you luck in whatever it is you are pursuing and i hope that good health and happiness are with you every step of the way 
okay, so coming off heroin can make you wanna kill yourself.
One of my old tricks sent me this little poem. it made me smile. "dear flower" he always says ,don't wilt and freeze. Me Mary Magdalene. I hear the trains at night and i just wanna jump on. Withdrawls are a emotional rollercoaster. I hope i can win this war.
Say something to make...
Read More
One of my old tricks sent me this little poem. it made me smile. "dear flower" he always says ,don't wilt and freeze. Me Mary Magdalene. I hear the trains at night and i just wanna jump on. Withdrawls are a emotional rollercoaster. I hope i can win this war.
Say something to make...
Read More
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
choppafreak:
this is why god invented chainsmoking. It's gotten me through all kinds of withdrawls, physical/emotional etc... and cigarettes don't get me fucked up in such a way to affect my judgement...
living for the future is difficult when you've gotten used to living for today/now but it does work... maintain, ride out the bullshit...
you can do it; you're stronger than it.
living for the future is difficult when you've gotten used to living for today/now but it does work... maintain, ride out the bullshit...
you can do it; you're stronger than it.
da_last_prince:
Yeah I feel for you and I don't drink or do any drugs anymore and its kind of depressing. You're just kind of numb and quiet and there's no withdrawal but there's no connection either. Just nothing. I remember seeing crack whores when I lived in Brooklynand I'd cross the street to just be on the other side from them. They were only in their late twenties or early thirties and looked wasted, anorexic - the things they said to the guys walking down the street made me want to puke. Its better to just be silent for the next fifty years. That's what I'm doing or who knows. Day by day or rolll the dice. lol. Good luck either way.
Here we are, me and joan of arc. she sleeps here with me. space travel girl. traveled so many miles. We lost track of space, just the sounds of the telivision. shut that shit off, and crackheads crying down the hall. I think she said Jails, Institutions and then death. I can't remember it all, opiates block and inspire. Kill and retire. I talk to...
Read More
Read More
voltaire:
dude, probation sucks... i hated it... how are you feeling?
I am sweating it all out. destructed my room in this detox. found red delusions in
little closets smoking. this one man tried to kill himself here last night. i held his blood in my hands, his little cells,as the stretcher took him away and i sang him songs about resurrection. songs i spontaneously made up and the police officer looked at me strange like...
Read More
little closets smoking. this one man tried to kill himself here last night. i held his blood in my hands, his little cells,as the stretcher took him away and i sang him songs about resurrection. songs i spontaneously made up and the police officer looked at me strange like...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
brandy:
Sorry I had to run off so fast in Austin 
but my manager needed me...anyhow, maybe our paths will cross again sometime. I travel a lot too (depending on how I'm feeling)...
but my manager needed me...anyhow, maybe our paths will cross again sometime. I travel a lot too (depending on how I'm feeling)...
salome_seule:
stay strong girl. don't stop dreaming.
ashes ashes we all fall down. in dark corners when the brakes don't work sleeping under these broken windows, broken flesh, broken kidneys. reocurring word. broken. I'm going to institutionalize myself for a few days.
*Send me little prayers and poems*
Love, Lily
*Send me little prayers and poems*
Love, Lily
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
fractal:
I am prey
I do pray
I light my next cigarette for you.
I do pray
I light my next cigarette for you.
tegan:
xo.
dirty skinny little girl. fuck you sugar daddy. I took all his money and ran. i saw you dance with all your makeup crusted on and all your demons loose. i saw you. But i was invisible. Just like i always am, even though fat girls in red lipstick and pseudo leather jackets kick me out of their apartments. offended that i od'd in their...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
formicmessiah:
good luck, hope things are going well, or at least getting better.
miss you,
syrus.
miss you,
syrus.
hellynn:
You always write the best journals. very entertaining and well writen. thank you for that
Its hard to be sick on the streets. everyone that passes you sees something a little too dangerous to stop for . i need to roll someone for their walllet but i'll probably just sleep it off and od on saraquil.
The world is so deep, so fast, so many different dimensions. how can we recognize them all? we don't, we just exist. work stupid...
Read More
The world is so deep, so fast, so many different dimensions. how can we recognize them all? we don't, we just exist. work stupid...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
cherryb0mb:
i hope you're doing better by now. i would share some dilaudid with you if you were anywhere near me.
x0x0.
i would share some dilaudid with you if you were anywhere near me.
x0x0.
mora:
i worked 9-5 while being homeless for a while. it all seemed a little too ironic. take care of yourself. feel free to hit me up if you're ever in the neighborhood.
just a reoccuring story/sickness/danger except i'm stuck this time real stuck, broke the law, their laws not mine. In my dreams everything is crashing but i wake up and i'm still here, In the ghetto, In my broken van sleeping, syringes on the ground and bruises that won't fade. he screamed at me with whiskey breath last night. big and stupid. screamed at me till...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
lipservicejen:
i was just wondering - are you still in texas? and if you are - where? you don't have to tell me, i am just curious.
bloodycrackdown6:
hey...do you ever get sick of the bullshit, and wanna just chill? no worries. 
i found you through voltaire. i like your set. holla.
i found you through voltaire. i like your set. holla.
I know i've been neglecting writing in my journal and all of you, my imaginary friends. I've been trying to steal my soul back though, i think i'm almost finished. i'll be back in black soon.
blow a little kiss down south for me.
Love, Lily
blow a little kiss down south for me.
Love, Lily
theanimal777:
how far down south are you?
fenris23:
good luck with the soul reclaimation. That does seem to take a lot of work.
destined to walk the earth until the end of time
♥,V.