lightbulbjack

So its one day away from my birthday.

I spent Saturday night alone in my apartment watching all three Matrix movies. Tonight Ill sit around and watch TV. Tomorrow Ill sit around and watch TV waiting for my brother and sisters to call me and do the happy birthday little brother thing.

This past week
A women at work called me a cocksucker because I wouldnt let her copy a professional photo.

Ive had three mini panic attacks. None of which broke out into a full attack thankfully. They were all over stupid little things. Not being able to find the title for my car. Trying to get a prescription called in from my doctor. A side note to that, a nurse at my shrinks office told me in an oh by the way, youll have to find another shrink because you have to good of insurance. Ive been seeing this guy every few months for the past 6 plus years, and now its you need to find someone else. I dont think she was supposed to have told me.

I dont remember what the third attack was over.

I know I sound like a broken record but I just cant seem to pull my life together. Im not happy and I cant find a way to fix it.

I dont like this time of year. Between my birthday and the holidays I just have to many bad memories.

In some ways life was a lot easer when I still drank and did drugs.