6/9: Tell us about a time that you stood up for yourself!
I have no problem standing up for other people. I don't even have to think about it, I just do it. Knight-in-Shining-Armor Complex? Probably. Standing up for myself, though, is a different story. I have pretty strong doormat tendencies, to go along with my low self-esteem. There is one time that really stands out as one of those "moments that define you." I must have been around 10 years old or so... late 1980s... before the days of no-score soccer (there's actually no-ball soccer now?!?)
We played field hockey in PE class, and after it was over, the PE teacher was bringing us back inside. She said something along the lines of "Winners go in first, then the losers go in last." I didn't like that. I didn't think or anything, but I heard the words coming out of my mouth, "Just because we lost the game doesn't make us losers." She was furious, walking up and down the line of kids, asking who said it. No one ratted me out, but I didn't have the guts to fess up, either.
I've come a long way since then. I'll still stand up for others without giving it a second thought. I can take a lot of abuse myself, but I'm getting better about stopping it before it gets to be too much. Despite my low self-esteem, I somehow have more confidence. That doesn't make sense, but it's true. I guess in some ways, the older I get, the less I care about what other people think of me. That makes it easier to stand up for myself, when at other times in my life, I would have seen it as selfish or entitled.