I hate that I'm even writing this. I have a heart condition that, if not treated, causes sudden death. Last night, I started to black out, but either my heart corrected itself, or my implanted medical device did its job of preventing a complete loss of consciousness. Tonight I wasn't quite as lucky. I blacked all the way out and got defibrillated. It doesn't hurt, but it's very uncomfortable (giant electric shock straight the heart) and of course it's pretty scary. I've been fine for a whole year. The last time I had an episode was January 7 of last year. I had four episodes that day. My cardiologist put me on a drug that seemed to be working, but it's a drug that no pharmacy seems to be able to get in stock, so I've been off of it for several months. I'm hoping to see my Dr tomorrow, but there's not much point. They'll just tell me I got shocked, as if I didn't know, and that I shouldn't worry about it, because the device worked just like it should.
I'm grateful to be alive. If it weren't for this device, I wouldn't be here. But this repeated dying and waking back up really takes a lot out of me.
I hope everyone else is feeling healthy and happy tonight.
