I'm single and dating and there's something I noticed that seems like a big difference between men and women when it comes to dating and attraction.
Women, more than men, seem to base attraction on what the perceived level of desirability someone has as rated by other people. I don't know if there's a term for this, but let's just call it the "Pete Davidson effect." Pete Davidson is the SNL comedian who was briefly dating Ariana Grande. While they were dating suddenly all manner of females suddenly decided that Pete was super sexy and attractive and they wanted to be with him. Was he considered a sex symbol beforehand? Probably not. And now that Ariana has dumped him it seems like the common perception is "well she's out of his league....he's not attractive" and his stock has plummeted.
Now of course in everyday life and dating most people aren't celebrities but I've noticed that if there is a perception that a man is pursued by many women then the average female will find him MUCH more attractive. The Pete Davidson effect could also be called "Perceived Popular Desirability".
Now men of course are influenced by other people and the media etc when it comes to which women they find attractive but I think in a different way. Men have "types" in the sense that they will be attracted to certain looks etc. Maybe they are into blondes or one race more than others. Or large breasts vs smaller ones. Or women that look like models. But I also think that men dont really care as much what their peers think once they find someone that fits their type. We could call this the "Shallow Hal effect." In the movie Shallow Hal, Jack Black's character is very shallow when it comes to looks. He will only consider dating women that are a 9 or a 10 in terms of attractiveness. But once he gets hypnotized by Tony Robbins in the elevator, he finds commonly perceived "ugly" women extremely attractive. And when his friends try to convince him that someone he likes is unattractive, he ignores them. He refuses to be swayed by peer pressure, because he knows what he likes.
I find this phenomena interesting. I dont think either gender is superior to the other and both are shallow in their own ways. If there is a term for being influenced by peers I'd like to know what it is. It makes for good bar banter. :)
