The Present , The Past, The Future - in that order.
Nothing set in stone for the weekend other than going to the Fair, seeing the new Austin Powers flick, and spending time with Brian and his family. We are taking the camera along and he's going to be giving me pointers throughout the day at the fair, so I can bring back some neat things on film as well as digital. Looking forward to that. I also anticipate a nice make out session on a certain ferris wheel, red and blue snocone tongues, and corndogs with extra mustard. Yum. Will post photos next week.
Last year at about this time, I was looking at a birthday extravaganza that spanned three separate nights at three separate clubs, a day spent with Jay, (who called the other night, finally), and an evening spent with the Elemental boys, and with Elliott, and Pati and her brothers, and a set of gorgeous black and purple waist-length braids in my hair. I got roses and glittery things and a wonderful set of pictures that showed off the memories.
I had a dream last night that I was in high school and that Pati and I were in the same class. She was talking to all these people who were congratulating her and a couple of guys who were flirting with her. When the crowd cleared a little, I saw her showing her arms to someone and they were marveling at the difference because, except for a few faint surgical scars, they were completely cleared of the track marks and discoloration that used to be there.
Immediately, even while dreaming, I felt guilty for having taken back my offer to have her in the wedding and I began to think about how to work it out so that she could be involved again. Again, assuming the the everpresent burden of responsibility. As if it were my fault and my failure. Even in my dreams.
My subconscious is obviously reminding me that I'm still struggling with this. And it was probably jolted into view again by the fact that Jay called out of the blue. But I'm trying to stay positive. I need to stay positive. I don't feel comfortable about calling to talk to Jay just yet but Brian is urging me to try. I don't know what to do or feel right now. It's too hard.
What's to come this year? Who knows? But getting older doesn't seem to mean having any less fun so far. I'm trying to keep my mind on that. By this time next year, I will have been married for almost a month. I will have spent a honeymoon in a beautiful place, I will have an arsenal of new memories and new experiences. I look forward to it very, very much.
Enjoy your weekends, everyone.
Nothing set in stone for the weekend other than going to the Fair, seeing the new Austin Powers flick, and spending time with Brian and his family. We are taking the camera along and he's going to be giving me pointers throughout the day at the fair, so I can bring back some neat things on film as well as digital. Looking forward to that. I also anticipate a nice make out session on a certain ferris wheel, red and blue snocone tongues, and corndogs with extra mustard. Yum. Will post photos next week.
Last year at about this time, I was looking at a birthday extravaganza that spanned three separate nights at three separate clubs, a day spent with Jay, (who called the other night, finally), and an evening spent with the Elemental boys, and with Elliott, and Pati and her brothers, and a set of gorgeous black and purple waist-length braids in my hair. I got roses and glittery things and a wonderful set of pictures that showed off the memories.
I had a dream last night that I was in high school and that Pati and I were in the same class. She was talking to all these people who were congratulating her and a couple of guys who were flirting with her. When the crowd cleared a little, I saw her showing her arms to someone and they were marveling at the difference because, except for a few faint surgical scars, they were completely cleared of the track marks and discoloration that used to be there.
Immediately, even while dreaming, I felt guilty for having taken back my offer to have her in the wedding and I began to think about how to work it out so that she could be involved again. Again, assuming the the everpresent burden of responsibility. As if it were my fault and my failure. Even in my dreams.
My subconscious is obviously reminding me that I'm still struggling with this. And it was probably jolted into view again by the fact that Jay called out of the blue. But I'm trying to stay positive. I need to stay positive. I don't feel comfortable about calling to talk to Jay just yet but Brian is urging me to try. I don't know what to do or feel right now. It's too hard.
What's to come this year? Who knows? But getting older doesn't seem to mean having any less fun so far. I'm trying to keep my mind on that. By this time next year, I will have been married for almost a month. I will have spent a honeymoon in a beautiful place, I will have an arsenal of new memories and new experiences. I look forward to it very, very much.
Enjoy your weekends, everyone.
misterseeon:
i read it all again. aren't ya proud of me? enjoy your weekend as well doll 