lefty

ok the first time, it was semi plesant, and now its just weird. 2 nights ago, i had another dream involving suddenly susan characters. only this time, the show had nothing to do with the dream, other than that it involved a character from it. This one involved Brooke Shields. Me and her were fooling around real heavy, and then she offers to let me spend the night (and more obviously)... apparently we were in her backyard, and all of a sudden her mom got wise to us (so to speak) and started looking around the backyard for us... so we start running from her (it was dark & nightime) we got up to this fence, and she jumps over it, but her mom discovers me before i can get over it. and oddly enough, her mother looks just like my neighbors-across-the-street mother. Big woman that wears mu-mu's. I think i woke up then

God this is gonna be a long journal entry. Everything is all fucked up right now. Work totally sucks ass. im getting almost no hours, and the shifts that i work are usually 3 or 4 hours, and at the crack of dawn or at the end of the night. And they expect me to sell like a madman in this shitty little timezones. To top it off, this little 18 year old shithead, with no retail or radioshack exp is getting full time hours. I'm trying to move to a store thats closer to my town (my commute is about 25 min each way), but i wont get that until i prove that i can sell (which ive been doing for the last fucking year there) and my sales get higher, and that wont happen until i get more hours & better shifts, but i wont get more hours there because there FUCKIN ARENT ANY!!

To top it off, today i got a call from a friend i havent heard from in like a week & a half. I was at gameworks when she called so i couldnt hear her real well, but i thought i should atleast talk to her for a little. she asks me "why would you tell someone not to date me?" atfirst im thinking "is this a hypothetical question?" cause she asks those alot. It turns out that some dude i had talked to in the mall where she used to work, was a dude that was trying to date her. I told him that i worked at radioshack, he asked if i knew her, and i said yeah. He said something about "debating calling her"... now keep in mind she crushes on guys all over the place in the mall... i told the dude that she only really likes to date men older than her. He took this to mean "dont go out with her"... i found out later that this dude had tried to go out with her, and she had turned him down on the basis that he was too young. she had expressed to me that she had no desire to date him (apparently this guy that she was talkin about changed jobs in the interum, so i had no idea that this was the same guy when i told him that). The guy acted immaturely when she said that she wouldnt date him. I get the impression now that she's mad i said what i said, and that she thinks i told the dude not to date her. Hopefully i can sort things out with her tommorrow.

god, i wanna get away. i wanna have a nervous breakdown so i can have an excuse to ignore people for about a week or so. I wanna become a monk so i dont ever have to worrry about dating. I wanna be an exchange student for a year, so i can get away from everything i hate about this town. I wanna get in a near fatal car crash, and be in a coma for a week or two. I wanna go move to new guinea and live with the dani people for a year or so. i wanna quit my job and tend to a flock of sheep somewhere far away. I wanna work in an orphanage, showing kids love that have never felt it before. I wanna have a failed suicide attempt, so maybe people will leave me alone for a while. I WANNA BREATHE SMOKE.....well not really.... dont know how that got there... i wanna be a and start pillaging cruise ships and taking money off the richest 20 percent in this country which control 80 percent of all wealth... take some of that money and give it to a family that has to eat squirrel for dinner. Mostly i just wanna get away.....