ldwarren

(meeting point GOD's office, date January 1st 2004)

God: Hi leon, come in and sit down
Leon: Hiya, thanks
God: So we are here to plan the events that will happen in your life this year..
Leon: Yep
God: OK, well your life has been a bit dull in recent years so lets shake things up
Leon: *nods*
God: You know that girl who works for the solicitors round the corner that you are having a fling with..?
Leon: Yes..
God: Well, she will become increasingly guilty about cheating on her boyfriend and call it off
Leon: Ok, thats pretty predictable
God: So you will have s more time on your hands and you will still be feeling horny. I thought you could sign yourself upto a porn site.
Leon: But I find porn rather sad..
God: Yes, but dont deny you like looking at naked goth girls
Leon I guess..
God: You pervert
Leon: hey...!
God: so you will join suicidegirls, the website you first read about in a music magazine a year ago.
Leon: ok
God: you will get to be friends with the SG girl you find the sexiest
Leon: cool!
God: ..and she will also be the one you like most mentally..
Leon: cool cool!
God: ...and after a couple of months of getting to know each other she will buy a plane ticket to visit you in August
Leon: What? Visit me? thats crazy. I dont believe you
God: and your feelings will grow and you will start to realise that for the first time in 10 years you are falling..
Leon: This is too unbelievable. I think you are taking the piss.

**leon walks out of office**

Fast forward to end of July:
Leon:
God: