lavinia

Laughter
I feel stoned
Happieness with a pinch
My heart is warm and wonderful
Dizzy

Sexual
A way of life
Touch flesh be consumed
Transformation takes me away
Pleasure

Gothic
Blood and black
Youth becomes old
Sad lonely cramped in a corner
Death

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pica_pica:

scary how you are so right.

Feb 8, 2005

doghouse_reilly:

*does the fingersnap applause thing*

Feb 9, 2005

A work in progress

I have been trying to write about what's on my mind. I have alot to say..I just don't know how to say it.

Maybe later.

Ciao

pica_pica:

I am suddenly very intrigued with that idea.

As long as Yoko Ono is not doing the soundtrack.....

I think something 4AD would be good.

Feb 8, 2005

Last day of the Cleanse

Hi world. I am back online.

Well I have to say this cleanse was an intersting learning experience for me. I became really introspective. I know now that I am going to make changes in my life. I am going to treat myself better, treat other better, no more pizza and wings at night and I plan to be fearless...
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Cleanse day #?

I had some bad news about my mother on Friday. As a result I decided to drink several Gin Martinis and smoke weed over the week-end. I know that is counter-productive on a cleanse.

There are times when I just don't know what to think or what to do when I find these things out.

My mother has been through hell and...
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fenris23:

Wow that was a horribly bleak response, sorry about that.
best wishes for your mother.

Jan 31, 2005

mrdaft:

heyyy.... I haven't seen you for a while. I am thinking of going out there soon. Had enough of this 'burg I think

Feb 2, 2005

Sailing on a ship,
Cutting through crazy waves,
Tides higher than high,
The black sky arrived.

After the storm,
The morning sky came,
Its beauty and life,
Caught my eye.

As crazy as it seems,
This is the closest
I have been,
To true happiness.

I have just found out that my mother is terminally ill. She will be on medication for a very long time or at least until the bug she has is resistant to the medication.

I think I may not be cleansing tonight. I feel like getting some weed or a huge bottle of Gin.

I'm not sure what my decision will be.

pica_pica:

Ha!

I know for a fact your decision was both.!

and I also know exactly what you are feeling. And for that, I am here for you.

Jan 28, 2005

Today I have been reading News clips about the 60th anniversary of the Liberation of the Nazi Death Camp called Auschwitz. One news clip on CVT online really disturbed me.

There was a poll done. The questions in the poll were about the Holocaust. I was astonished to find out that 30% of Canadians are ignorant about what happened durring the Holocaust (That's 3 ot...
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pica_pica:

I don't even like to think about that. It bothers me when I feel so powerless to stop it.

Yeah, yeah, democracy. neat idea.

I remember you telling me about your grandpa. Is he still alive? Did you ever get a chance to talk to him about his experiences?

[Edited on Jan 27, 2005 10:27PM]

Jan 27, 2005

Cleanse Day #3.

O.k.. This is the day that makes or breaks you. It's like quitting smoking (which I did a over a year and a half ago) . The third day is the hurdle. After today it's smooth sailing.

Actually when I quit smoking it too me weeks to calm down. I was a really intense person when I quit. I remember I had...
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pica_pica:

Aint life grand?

Self restriction is apparently one of the great paths to enlightenment.

Most of the time, I just get kinda antsy after a while though.

maybe ants are enlightened.?

I totally understand the grumpy bit though, it's only when I'm not "allowed" to have something do I seem to want it more.
Not in everything, but with food and other pleasureable items, that's certainly the case.

how many days left now?

Jan 26, 2005

Cleanse day #2.

Last night my girlfriend Carmen came over with beer. My roommate Atila made dinner for His friend Jim and Carmen. The dish was Linguini with a tomato clam sauce and it looked amazing. They drank red wine, beer and ate this wonderful smelling food (all the things I can't have on this cleanse) right in front of me. I have to say...
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selfcontaining:

Hang in there.
Things get tough.
You just have to be strong.
Just remember...
YOU can do ANYTHING YOU put your mind to.

Keep it up!

Jan 26, 2005

Cleanse Day 1

My body has confirmed it's hatered towards me. All those years of abuse and now it's time for pay-back.

Last night I had a red wine/chicken wing / pizza/ calamari bender with a man I have been seeing for over four months now. It was so good. We had Rolo Ice cream and cookies for desert.

We did the "bender" because we...
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pica_pica:

I think they will.

The shadows lasting forever.

It's just that they get longer, thinner, more indistinguishable from the landscape ahead of you...

Jan 24, 2005

Good Morining. Thanks for the comments and the invites.

Well last night I stayed in relaxed and chatted with people online through msn (well those who didn't have problems with it).

It's fasinating msn chat is like being social and anti-social at the same time. You don't see or hear anyone and you are still communicating.

I'm hoping to start a cleanse tomorrow. The one...
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fenris23:

Detox is a good way to start a new growth period.
I'm thinking about how to start one of those myself.
Welcome to the Site.

Jan 23, 2005

d_no:

Good luck with the new start, I'm working on one myself.

Welcome

Jan 24, 2005

Well...I am now a member. Thanks to a gift from "coolheart".

I have been out and about to some of the SG functions with pica_pica (last night at the Brick Yard) and I thought It would be a good time to join.

I'm starting a new chapter in my life right now and I feel like I would like to share it.

This should be...
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pica_pica: