Been keeping it together but God it's been rough. Anxiety and depression are nothing knew but it got real bad since this time last year.
I was pushing hard to get a job I've wanted for years and worked my ass off for. When I finally got it all I was subjected to was an unmitigated nightmare and shitshow. I was overworked and exhausted to the point of complete breakdown. I'd wake up struggling to stand on my throbbing legs and come home struggling to breathe. All this while dealing with the worst of humanity being their usually garbage while trying to help/protect entitled adult-children. Two of which threw me under the bus with false accusations that nearly made me....... well about as bad as you can think....
I spent months trying to recover and work my usual job begrudgingly as those others' actions cost me many opportunities. In March I went head on with an incompetent robot of a human who's rigid inability to understand basic concepts nearly cost me my job again, until I went to HR and defended myself.
What followed was months of passive aggressive idiocy from this person whole they tried vehemently to get rid of me. Until last month they finally got their way.....
I've been struggling with separation from a company I stood by, the biggest fucking cheerleader for, while pushing for opportunities I could only dream of. Now dealing with the complete loss of that (among other things like money, Insurance, future opportunities....) and it's a struggle.
I finished college and spent my 20s working a shit bartending job where I was regularly depressed and dissociating to the point of self destruction. While forcing myself into more education desperate for a way out with little success.
Then I started over at 30, working a painful call center job that crippled me with anxiety until I quit and moved to Florida to try and pursue a career in Visual Effects.
Then I started over at 34, opportunities weren't looking great and I started working for Universal. Despite a global pandemic I had a steady job at a major company where I thought I had a future and alot of potential. Until the recent events.
So now I'm starting over again, at 38 this time. I'm getting help (both therapy and help with getting work) but it's frustrating doing all this to stay afloat. You can only so many times dealing with both failing and also the fact that sometimes people have it out for you, and it sucks.
So here we are, sewi
