Dear Bloggers,
Everything is lame. Especially how Jack Whites wife looks. She aint no Lasonja. She aint no Meg White and she sure as hell aint no Shirley Manson. We found it again!!! We found a young little baby jebus Merch on the Grinspoon DVD. He looks the same age, only younger. Weird... Hes definitely a fine wine, much better looking now.
Young cookie is not aware just yet, but he has something dangling from his neck. I think its his own hair... We're not sure.
Everyone take notes, this is where we will be in the near future, a Lasonja tour if you will.... It does not include cycling around Australia, but if it did we would be stopping off at these places:
18th June - The Lawnton Showgrounds to see Sunk Loto Pease do not request us for a hookup, as we will be located at the pub directly across the road from the show. We will be getting drunk to prepare us for the drug and alcohol free event. Special conditions do apply though, if you come wearing a sherpa you will be more than welcome to watch us drink
Note to Merc - These italic messages are for your eyes only. We want to remind you of how hot you are. Do we smell like cheese? I think we mostly smell like fish.....
23rd of June - We leave for Sydney. This is where all the cool cats live, thus the reason we are going there. Sydney is a poor mans Melbourne, but its all that we can afford for the moment. If you wish to hookup with us your best bet is to go to King St and look inside Vegans Choice and then try The Little Gourmet Pizza Shop. Chances are we'll be inhaling something from either of these places.
Note to Merc - We may be the town bike, but you're the one riding it... Yeah, you know it. Slutguts. PS - you're sexyl.
24th of June - The Gaelic Club Sydney to see The Mess Hall, but mostly to see Whirlwind Heat (cos they are hot dancers). Our type of dancing will be drunk swaying and thrusting. If you wish to have a hookup please approach us while thrusting and bring us vegan treats. Ribbon agrees.
Note to Merc - So you bought us the poop vinyl the other day and now you expect a payment in flesh eh... We'll give you a flesh sandwich.. We can be the bun and you can be the burger, girl.
25th of June - Back to Brisbane. The Zoo to see The Mess Hall, but mainly Whirlwind Heat (cos they are hot dancers) This is our home turf, so chances are we will have gone to the Jube earlier in the day and we will be absolutely cunted. You may even be lucky enough to witness a fellow sexyl SG blogger, if we can con him into coming with us. Chances are we will convince him, hes a sucker when we offer things like ourselves. There will be lots of group thrusting involved.
Note to Merc - Hey Merc, we want the funk.
8th of July - Coolangatta Hotel for Sunk Loto. Thats right... We've never been there before, so chances are everyone will be quite taken with our beauty. Those poor rednecks, living in coolangatta like that. Where is it again?? Do we care? We think not. Sunk Loto are attractive like Merch, but less so. We are in our prime whilst watching this band. Most times we rock up late and miss their set cos we're so drunk, but time and time again they prove that they are ... good looking? or good ... or something. And metal.. of course.
Note to Merc - Come with us to the Mystery shows. We are the artfags of brisbane.
16th of July - The Rev for.... Mystery band. This is mostly a night for us to go out.. and nobody else. Dont go. I dare say it will be one of the best concerts of the year. I doubt you will find out though, cos you arent cool like us.
Note to Uncle Merc - You're a little dancing baby jebus. If you had just recovered from hip surgery we would kick your stick out from underneath you. And you can put that in your cap.
17th of July - The Rev for... Mystery band. This is another day for us. Go away and leave us to it. It will be lamer than the gig the night before, but it so wont. We are better than you and this is why we know about this show.
This is pretty much our schedule for the next two months. The rest of the days are free, but not for hooking up. We're pretty easy to win over though, just bring us free things and thrust in our faces. We will then embrace you.
Karen elson isnt hot. Just a reminder. We will be going to Skinnys on Sunday, add that to your hookup stalking journals.
Kiss Kiss.
BACON
Everything is lame. Especially how Jack Whites wife looks. She aint no Lasonja. She aint no Meg White and she sure as hell aint no Shirley Manson. We found it again!!! We found a young little baby jebus Merch on the Grinspoon DVD. He looks the same age, only younger. Weird... Hes definitely a fine wine, much better looking now.
Young cookie is not aware just yet, but he has something dangling from his neck. I think its his own hair... We're not sure.
Everyone take notes, this is where we will be in the near future, a Lasonja tour if you will.... It does not include cycling around Australia, but if it did we would be stopping off at these places:
18th June - The Lawnton Showgrounds to see Sunk Loto Pease do not request us for a hookup, as we will be located at the pub directly across the road from the show. We will be getting drunk to prepare us for the drug and alcohol free event. Special conditions do apply though, if you come wearing a sherpa you will be more than welcome to watch us drink
Note to Merc - These italic messages are for your eyes only. We want to remind you of how hot you are. Do we smell like cheese? I think we mostly smell like fish.....
23rd of June - We leave for Sydney. This is where all the cool cats live, thus the reason we are going there. Sydney is a poor mans Melbourne, but its all that we can afford for the moment. If you wish to hookup with us your best bet is to go to King St and look inside Vegans Choice and then try The Little Gourmet Pizza Shop. Chances are we'll be inhaling something from either of these places.
Note to Merc - We may be the town bike, but you're the one riding it... Yeah, you know it. Slutguts. PS - you're sexyl.
24th of June - The Gaelic Club Sydney to see The Mess Hall, but mostly to see Whirlwind Heat (cos they are hot dancers). Our type of dancing will be drunk swaying and thrusting. If you wish to have a hookup please approach us while thrusting and bring us vegan treats. Ribbon agrees.
Note to Merc - So you bought us the poop vinyl the other day and now you expect a payment in flesh eh... We'll give you a flesh sandwich.. We can be the bun and you can be the burger, girl.
25th of June - Back to Brisbane. The Zoo to see The Mess Hall, but mainly Whirlwind Heat (cos they are hot dancers) This is our home turf, so chances are we will have gone to the Jube earlier in the day and we will be absolutely cunted. You may even be lucky enough to witness a fellow sexyl SG blogger, if we can con him into coming with us. Chances are we will convince him, hes a sucker when we offer things like ourselves. There will be lots of group thrusting involved.
Note to Merc - Hey Merc, we want the funk.
8th of July - Coolangatta Hotel for Sunk Loto. Thats right... We've never been there before, so chances are everyone will be quite taken with our beauty. Those poor rednecks, living in coolangatta like that. Where is it again?? Do we care? We think not. Sunk Loto are attractive like Merch, but less so. We are in our prime whilst watching this band. Most times we rock up late and miss their set cos we're so drunk, but time and time again they prove that they are ... good looking? or good ... or something. And metal.. of course.
Note to Merc - Come with us to the Mystery shows. We are the artfags of brisbane.
16th of July - The Rev for.... Mystery band. This is mostly a night for us to go out.. and nobody else. Dont go. I dare say it will be one of the best concerts of the year. I doubt you will find out though, cos you arent cool like us.
Note to Uncle Merc - You're a little dancing baby jebus. If you had just recovered from hip surgery we would kick your stick out from underneath you. And you can put that in your cap.
17th of July - The Rev for... Mystery band. This is another day for us. Go away and leave us to it. It will be lamer than the gig the night before, but it so wont. We are better than you and this is why we know about this show.
This is pretty much our schedule for the next two months. The rest of the days are free, but not for hooking up. We're pretty easy to win over though, just bring us free things and thrust in our faces. We will then embrace you.
Karen elson isnt hot. Just a reminder. We will be going to Skinnys on Sunday, add that to your hookup stalking journals.
Kiss Kiss.
BACON
Looks like you've got a pretty good month lined up for yourself