Dearest Bloggers - NEWSFLASH, LASONJA FINALLY MAKES IT HOME FROM THE SHOPS!!!
The Lasonja tandem bike broke down on the way to the bottle shop and we spent 3 years trying to pump up our tyre. As we aren't known for being overly fit we tried to bribe peolpe with our stellar good looks and bats of our model luxurious eyelashes to get the job done. Needless to say we pretty much got someone to do it for us straight away cos who could deny us right?? Right!!
So what have the collective sexual unit of Lasonja been doing for all this time you ask? Well hold onto your old man caps cos we have been a whole world of busy pigs..... Its true you know. The biggest news is Sir Cooks a lot is MIA, so if you see an elderly looking man walking around with fangs protruding from his bottom lip and snot flowing freely, be sure to approach with caution and ask if his name is Cookie.
What Lasonja really wants to know though, is who reactivated their account? We mean, we arent surprised or anything, cos we know how desirable everything we say is and what sexyl appeal we have. Yeah, this is the big question the whole world is asking. Who has missed us so much that it is obviously keeping them up at night? I mean, we can understand that those long cold, laughter free nights can seem endless with no Lasonja to cuddle up to...but seriously will it be worth it long term? You will just get too attached and want to marry us, cos we are fucking awesome. Like cake. We will be the cake and you will be the fat kid that can't live without our cakey goodness.
And who the hell took away all our beer and pants? Truth be known, we took our own pants off, for vertebrae stimulation and paperback manufacturing. So what else is new? Oh, thats right, we all got married!!! Please see photos below of our wedding day:
Other than getting married and taming wild pigs, we also moved away from Kerrang. No more again a garden bed, but thats proven to be nothing but apples and a partridge in a pear tree. Yeah we blew that pop stand quick smart indeedy. One of us moved to the wrong side of the tracks and met the love of her life, we is like peas and carrots. This one of us also got a new nickname of Stinky Pig and other pig related names such as Pigzilla and Fart Pig. Piggie also found herself getting tattooed a bunch of times and will be getting many more in the future. Watch this fart space.
Bum Pig also loves the Betina, we are still the oldest of oldmates and still shoot the shit daily which is good for you kids cos we are back and more awesomer than ever.... Its true, we are awesome. And this other one of us has a nickname too, it is of course, half of lasonja, but other than that I rock the name Betina. I was also lucky enough to nab myself a husband, and he came in the form of a little drunk midget with long hair and yellow toenails, but I still love him all the same.
We will be putting up our tour dates again shortly, but for now just know that there definitely will not be any hook ups at the Frenzal Romp concert tomorrow night in the valley. Hooking up is for emo trendy losers with sippy cups. Like us, and not you. Baxter is yet to be old enough to get his balls detained, but just know that they will be. Also, why is there techno music always going on upstairs? It hurts our heads. Baxter is the new addition to the Lasonja extended family and is Piglet's 5th cat boyfriend, he is all but a tween but is quite manly and svelt just like a little tiger should be. Tachno music should be banned as far as i'm concerned & every motherfucker that thinks he's a dj when his skills only extend as far as looping the same beat a million times over making some shit song into a shit remix that goes for 45 mins. Sigh, if only the world had an ounce of our coolness. We are like the Patti Smiths to a different generation of haters, so if you can't handle the Lasonja, get to hoppin on the lame boat, sail to fuck off land and cut yourself!! Yeeeeaaaaaahhh!!
Oh yeah, bungle is a new part of the family too, he is white with yellow balls, and just of late he has been sporting a pink tail. So if you spot him out on the streets give him a whoo hoo, cos he has no lovin from Lasonja no more. You know what else we discovered? That we are really, really ridiculously good looking at Guitar hero. We sing better than most singers because we are naturally gifted in every department, besides the groin department that is. Also, who puts shickens and ducks in a suburban street? Im not so sure, but I know that bungle has been licking his delicious lips.
Oh yeah, and we really want to know who got us 3 months worth of membership, cos we heart you in a big pig fatty sorta way.
AND, AND, AND.. Big shout outs to Babyfirefly.. altho why are you no longer babyfirefly? We no understandy that english.
much love to our underground g-banging wearing sistas.
BACON
The Lasonja tandem bike broke down on the way to the bottle shop and we spent 3 years trying to pump up our tyre. As we aren't known for being overly fit we tried to bribe peolpe with our stellar good looks and bats of our model luxurious eyelashes to get the job done. Needless to say we pretty much got someone to do it for us straight away cos who could deny us right?? Right!!
So what have the collective sexual unit of Lasonja been doing for all this time you ask? Well hold onto your old man caps cos we have been a whole world of busy pigs..... Its true you know. The biggest news is Sir Cooks a lot is MIA, so if you see an elderly looking man walking around with fangs protruding from his bottom lip and snot flowing freely, be sure to approach with caution and ask if his name is Cookie.
What Lasonja really wants to know though, is who reactivated their account? We mean, we arent surprised or anything, cos we know how desirable everything we say is and what sexyl appeal we have. Yeah, this is the big question the whole world is asking. Who has missed us so much that it is obviously keeping them up at night? I mean, we can understand that those long cold, laughter free nights can seem endless with no Lasonja to cuddle up to...but seriously will it be worth it long term? You will just get too attached and want to marry us, cos we are fucking awesome. Like cake. We will be the cake and you will be the fat kid that can't live without our cakey goodness.
And who the hell took away all our beer and pants? Truth be known, we took our own pants off, for vertebrae stimulation and paperback manufacturing. So what else is new? Oh, thats right, we all got married!!! Please see photos below of our wedding day:
Other than getting married and taming wild pigs, we also moved away from Kerrang. No more again a garden bed, but thats proven to be nothing but apples and a partridge in a pear tree. Yeah we blew that pop stand quick smart indeedy. One of us moved to the wrong side of the tracks and met the love of her life, we is like peas and carrots. This one of us also got a new nickname of Stinky Pig and other pig related names such as Pigzilla and Fart Pig. Piggie also found herself getting tattooed a bunch of times and will be getting many more in the future. Watch this fart space.
Bum Pig also loves the Betina, we are still the oldest of oldmates and still shoot the shit daily which is good for you kids cos we are back and more awesomer than ever.... Its true, we are awesome. And this other one of us has a nickname too, it is of course, half of lasonja, but other than that I rock the name Betina. I was also lucky enough to nab myself a husband, and he came in the form of a little drunk midget with long hair and yellow toenails, but I still love him all the same.
We will be putting up our tour dates again shortly, but for now just know that there definitely will not be any hook ups at the Frenzal Romp concert tomorrow night in the valley. Hooking up is for emo trendy losers with sippy cups. Like us, and not you. Baxter is yet to be old enough to get his balls detained, but just know that they will be. Also, why is there techno music always going on upstairs? It hurts our heads. Baxter is the new addition to the Lasonja extended family and is Piglet's 5th cat boyfriend, he is all but a tween but is quite manly and svelt just like a little tiger should be. Tachno music should be banned as far as i'm concerned & every motherfucker that thinks he's a dj when his skills only extend as far as looping the same beat a million times over making some shit song into a shit remix that goes for 45 mins. Sigh, if only the world had an ounce of our coolness. We are like the Patti Smiths to a different generation of haters, so if you can't handle the Lasonja, get to hoppin on the lame boat, sail to fuck off land and cut yourself!! Yeeeeaaaaaahhh!!
Oh yeah, bungle is a new part of the family too, he is white with yellow balls, and just of late he has been sporting a pink tail. So if you spot him out on the streets give him a whoo hoo, cos he has no lovin from Lasonja no more. You know what else we discovered? That we are really, really ridiculously good looking at Guitar hero. We sing better than most singers because we are naturally gifted in every department, besides the groin department that is. Also, who puts shickens and ducks in a suburban street? Im not so sure, but I know that bungle has been licking his delicious lips.
Oh yeah, and we really want to know who got us 3 months worth of membership, cos we heart you in a big pig fatty sorta way.
AND, AND, AND.. Big shout outs to Babyfirefly.. altho why are you no longer babyfirefly? We no understandy that english.
much love to our underground g-banging wearing sistas.
BACON