larkin

it's not even 7am and i'm already crying. it hasn't even been five months. it seems like yesterday. it seems like forever ago.

last night i had a dream. i ran into you in a restaurant. everything was back to normal. it was the happiest dream i've ever had. it had all just been a misunderstanding


then, suddenly, you were gone. everything else remained.

i woke up wanting to fall into the dream again. just for a few more minutes with you.

"i dreamed i called you on the telephone
to say : be kinder to yourself
but you were sick and would not answer
the waste of my love goes on this way
trying to save you from yourself
i have always wondered about the left over
energy, the way water goes rushing down a hill
long after the rains have stopped
or the fire you want to go to bed from
but cannot leave, burning-down but not burnt down
the red coals more extreme, more curious
in their flashing and dying
than you wish they were
sitting long after midnight"