languid

hmmm... what, the wehere and how did it get to be now.... so i'm rested, i slept in for a monday, the world has been a blur but i still got up by 5am... i started the water and never made coffee... so when i got home there was a hot burner and a black pot. not too good for fire safety eh?

so the week ending the 11 waas the last time i ripped somehting here. i just hadn't had the whatnot to be where ever for what it needs to be. the week i worked 58 hours in five days, spent the whole of saturday and sunday rebuilding my front brakes. that is between sleeping, gorging on food and shadowy secrets of chi release. then back to work for six days, stress, tempers, mindfucks and bullshit. all a blur really. nothing to show for it but a paycheck and work this week because i didn't get laid off. not that it is likely anytime soon but one never knows when i might say the wrong thing at the right time and push that certain nutjob over the edge. not bad as nutjobs go, there is a sense of compassion and trying but still certifiable.... i should know i might get that rating one day. with paperwork and all.

this saturday i had the choice of fucking someone in regards to their performance & attitude but i felt that they did pull what they needed. keeping in mind that the other shit they pulled the bad shit, the piss me off shit could have dug them a hole i just let it roll off my shoulders... i kept my cool and moved on. i let them be the fucking fool out of control. mostly because there were too many things out of control for me to lose it on some little shit that they were freakling out on. when so many things go wrong you have to look at the bigger problems and pick your battles. i am still learning that. which turned out for the better because jjust a couple months ago fried their shitty little ass because they were being fuck offs and needed to get a clue about what to do. they are a good hand to have around when they are focused. like me, when i am focused. i had to take into consideration that i have not been focused at all these past couple weeks of overtime. working sixty some odd hours a week as a carpenter breaks a hole in your head where the shit just doesn't stick.

so today, we worked together again and it was good, it was early in the week, we still have time to bicker and fuck up some other shit. maybe not.

this wek i have a whole thee days off according to the union. are division is so busy that we will be working but all the other divisions will have mandatory time off due to our mothership, the shop, moves to hayweird. that will suck. i feel it is a bad move to scrimp pennies becasue so much of our work is in the city but whatever, no boidy asked what this dumbass thinks. it takes twelve minutes for me to fly to the shop now at five am. hayweird is not just a skip away....

time to play guitar so that my brain/spirit can gently scream.