lancelac

Today I completely freaked out at work. The combination of losing money (which happens about 40 percent of the time, but that doesn't mean I have to like it) and screwing up a task I had to do had me questioning my ability and desire to be doing my job. I was completely overcompensating, but then again I do have serious issues with working in finance as opposed to something more people oriented and/or a job with direct positive reinforcement. It's hard to live with the daily powerlessness that comes with the type of job where you don't know whether you're a success until a year or two after you've performed the service.

Ah well, I'm pretty over it now, but I long for the days where I got up wanting nothing more than to work, no matter how shitty my job was. I just need to make myself more well-rounded, there's a lot more to life than work, even if it does take up much of my time.

The love I give and recieve means a whole lot, and I can't take that for granted. I'm very lucky in that area of my life. There aren't many other people I know that have 5 friends of 10+ years who would do anything for you and vice versa. Not one of them has ever let me down in all that time, even considering I am a harsh judge of such things.

So, while the perfect wife and job might have eluded me for the moment, life is good, really good...