lampoon

This is a short story about a young girl, shall we call her *Annie.*

*Annie*

Was a lovely young lass. She walked into the shindig and everyone knew she was having a good time. She was uninhibited and a free spirit. "What fun Annie could be!" thought those who wished to befriend her. As time passed, dear Annie evolved. She started turning into what can only be described as a hell beast bent on destruction. With drunken warmth in her belly and murderous thoughts in her heart, Annie proceeded to traverse my home, leaving wreckage in her path.

It was clear that something was amiss when she tried to stand still and instead toppled through the open sliding door, taking the only kitchen stool with her. Her alter ego (self referentially), Cunt, was making an appearance! Oh LORD!

"Cunt" began picking fights. She wanted to drive a car. She threw a bottle at my friend's head (although missed because her aim was severely lacking. She tried to leave the sitting area emphatically, but couldn't close the door. But oh wait, she fell over into it, making it slam. The queen of exits.

This young girl should not have left the party, so she punched her way out through my helpful male friends.

There is no tragic ending to this story. But WTF? Please don't come into my home again.