feel a little better today.
not much, but every little bit helps
not much, but every little bit helps
worse and worse and worse.
things just keep getting worse.
things just keep getting worse.
wanted to cry all day at work today. i dont know what it is with me and the crying lately... Today, i blame lack of sleep and the prozac.
tomorrow, i hope i can fight off the urge to sob big huge heaving crocdile tears...
tomorrow, i hope i can fight off the urge to sob big huge heaving crocdile tears...
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
sirenblu7:
Strangest thing that i just fell apon your profile,
Reading your journal entries one after the other i am capitivated~Your Honesty Your Pain The rawness of your tears. I feel for you and give you credit For your position is Quite painful and heart renching to say the least though if we are as simular as you sound i beleave you hold the stregenth to see it through.
Your Strengenth to take responcibality for your emotions and your honesty to speak out directly from your heart is to be comended my dear!
Unfortuniatly Most men just can not handle Outspoken Emotions but
Don't give up the hope that there will be a man strong enough to see past your tears and appricate and cherrish your soul for as speical as it truly is.
Just remember only YOU can fix the pain and stop the tears so keep up the strength and try to relax thats my moto!
Now for the other strange coincidences here~i've got a set of cherries tattooed over both hip bones as well and you've got a photo of my boyfriend listed in your picts~Oh Yes he is Such the lil tinkerbell at that
Anyways you hang in there doll and know that you are not alone in your emotions!!!
Ciao'SB7
Reading your journal entries one after the other i am capitivated~Your Honesty Your Pain The rawness of your tears. I feel for you and give you credit For your position is Quite painful and heart renching to say the least though if we are as simular as you sound i beleave you hold the stregenth to see it through.
Your Strengenth to take responcibality for your emotions and your honesty to speak out directly from your heart is to be comended my dear!
Unfortuniatly Most men just can not handle Outspoken Emotions but
Don't give up the hope that there will be a man strong enough to see past your tears and appricate and cherrish your soul for as speical as it truly is.
Just remember only YOU can fix the pain and stop the tears so keep up the strength and try to relax thats my moto!
Now for the other strange coincidences here~i've got a set of cherries tattooed over both hip bones as well and you've got a photo of my boyfriend listed in your picts~Oh Yes he is Such the lil tinkerbell at that
Anyways you hang in there doll and know that you are not alone in your emotions!!!
Ciao'SB7
sirenblu7:
No i wasent there because i was in mexico & tom and i had just met) And Yes bobcat is quite the piece of work!!!
Anyhoo
i just wanted you to know that there are many of us who fight the urge to let it all out on a daily basis but that does not lessen the quality of your Sanity or soul!
Anyhoo
i just wanted you to know that there are many of us who fight the urge to let it all out on a daily basis but that does not lessen the quality of your Sanity or soul!
i cried all night last night.
for no reason.
alone, in the dark, big heaving sobs.
the isolation feels good sometimes, but sometimes it feels like...
i cant describe it.
i dont feel like ill ever get better, and i want people to stop telling me that eventually i will. it feels so condescending sometimes... "dont cry laine, you be better soon."
really?!
would you...
Read More
for no reason.
alone, in the dark, big heaving sobs.
the isolation feels good sometimes, but sometimes it feels like...
i cant describe it.
i dont feel like ill ever get better, and i want people to stop telling me that eventually i will. it feels so condescending sometimes... "dont cry laine, you be better soon."
really?!
would you...
Read More
wes11b10:
I don't know. The last thing I want you to think I am being is condescending, patronizing, etc. All I can tell you is that I've been 32ths of an inch away from oblivion and somehow, I am still here. One of the best lines from American Splendor is, "Every day's a brand new deal". Mean anything to you? Probably not. You're a good person and I hope that this circuitous route you're on leads you somewhere good - I think it will but that doesn't matter at this point. Believe me, just believe me. As a favor.
do you think i am asking too much?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
no:
Nope! Most definitely not!! You're hot, tall, kick-ass and did I say hawt? And, well, aside from all that yummy stuff, you're basically just awesome. No point in settling for something that's not!
BTW, I never did tell you how much I love your cherries.
Symmetrical tattoos, hips (mmm), cherries.
BTW, I never did tell you how much I love your cherries.
Symmetrical tattoos, hips (mmm), cherries.
mindless:
Yes, I do think you're asking too much. Any and all questions are too much. Just accept what you have and roll with it. Why want more? More more more. WE're all taught that it's great to want more than you can afford in this crap culture of ours. But most of the time we can't get it, so we get credit. Credit cards, cars on credit, blah. Then we owe lots of money. Then we get behind in payments, then we get credit collection agencies on our naive asses. Then we......oh wait, this is me Im talking about. Nevermind all that. Hi!
Darling, give me your absence tonight
Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white
Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside
And don't bother leaving the light on
'Cuz I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did...
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Take the shade from the canvas and leave me the white
Let me sink in the silence that echoes inside
And don't bother leaving the light on
'Cuz I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did...
Read More
wes11b10:
thanks, sugar! I remember that night, I sprayed DEET on my head and forgot to blink and my eyes burned for about 45 minutes...the bugs drank my blood, I sweated my electrolytes away into the sawgrass and thought about the folly of my decision.
Its my life!
dont you forget!
its my life!
it never ends!!!!
-no doubt.
i think i am starting to feel the effects of the prozac. for the first time in a very very long time i feel optimistic even though life has thrown me an odd curve ball...
the carpenter and i are indeed 'broken up' really all that means though is that we're...
Read More
dont you forget!
its my life!
it never ends!!!!
-no doubt.
i think i am starting to feel the effects of the prozac. for the first time in a very very long time i feel optimistic even though life has thrown me an odd curve ball...
the carpenter and i are indeed 'broken up' really all that means though is that we're...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
wes11b10:
I've always meant to ask you about your favorite film - seriously? It's a good one indeed. If you like the narration, you should read Mike Herr's Dispatches... He wrote the narration for FMJ and Apocalypse Now.
sempi:
Hi.
i am tired of crying, tired of life.
i think i pretty much ended things with the carpenter last night.
i dont know how i feel about that. i told him mostly how i feel and he just sort of apologised and didnt really say much except that he didnt want to lose me as a friend. yay...
not sure what i was hoping for,...
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i think i pretty much ended things with the carpenter last night.
i dont know how i feel about that. i told him mostly how i feel and he just sort of apologised and didnt really say much except that he didnt want to lose me as a friend. yay...
not sure what i was hoping for,...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
wes11b10:
It's so silly - she's gone for the night but I am not even slightly mad because she left the car here... The biggest bite in the nuts for me was knowing that she was out "with friends" driving my fucking car, talking on a cell phone that I was paying for. Now that the car's here, I really could give two shits where she is or what she's doing.
fauxhawk:
Yay, indeed! I hope you're doing better. :-)
yes, yes, make me talk. please. It really helps...
Ive been avioding doing the things i enjoy the most, thinking about money obsessively, being rude and snide to those who care the most about me.
I dont know how to control myself.
what now?
I laid down in bed and cried for a good hour today, not wanting to do anything but cry more. The...
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Ive been avioding doing the things i enjoy the most, thinking about money obsessively, being rude and snide to those who care the most about me.
I dont know how to control myself.
what now?
I laid down in bed and cried for a good hour today, not wanting to do anything but cry more. The...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
wes11b10:
Yes, the attic will be what Lisa's daughter called it when they first came to live here, "the writing room". I will make an attempt at organizing it, will get a big comfy chair in the corner for readin' and such... I move back to the master bedroom the night she leaves.
yeesh, sorry ive been brief lately, sorry ive been nothing but miserable, im not sure much will change anytime soon, so i guess you'll just have to endure.
wes11b10:
We can take it. I am not asking for syrupy bubbles or sanguine, pithy observations. I do want you to have the energy to write more, because I like your writing. Are you talking to anyone? Meds? Share if you want; I'm just curious. Take walks, get the fuck out of the house for awhile everyday. Don't let it win.