there used to be a few things i knew for certaian about myself.
i used to be something.
i used to...
there are a lot of ways to finish that sentence.
maybe i will just leave it unfinished.
As i worked today, steadily with a mostly empty mind, thoughts crept in.
'how much longer will i do this'
'what if i cant afford to quit'
'what if i am making a mistake by not sticking with this longer'
'i am so unhappy with my life i feel like sobbing.'
it was the last one that i paid the most attention to.
the over-riding feeling is that i need to try at least to make myself happy.
and if i foul things up, well, so be it.
you only live once. you only get one chance, and then its gone.
if you slog through life, doing this you dont like because you feel obligated. things you could change but decide not to. doesn't that qualify as a waste?
doesn't it?
it does.
i used to be something.
i used to...
there are a lot of ways to finish that sentence.
maybe i will just leave it unfinished.
As i worked today, steadily with a mostly empty mind, thoughts crept in.
'how much longer will i do this'
'what if i cant afford to quit'
'what if i am making a mistake by not sticking with this longer'
'i am so unhappy with my life i feel like sobbing.'
it was the last one that i paid the most attention to.
the over-riding feeling is that i need to try at least to make myself happy.
and if i foul things up, well, so be it.
you only live once. you only get one chance, and then its gone.
if you slog through life, doing this you dont like because you feel obligated. things you could change but decide not to. doesn't that qualify as a waste?
doesn't it?
it does.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
last year was not a "waste." you spent time doing what you feel/know now wasn't the right thing for you to be doing. in that, you learned something about you. you learned what doesn't make you happy. and that is just as important as learning what does make you happy. therefore, last year = unwasted. self discovery = good.
"if you slog through life, doing this you dont like because you feel obligated. things you could change but decide not to."
this is very human. which is ok. good even. change is scary, and i don't think its so much that you've flatly decided to turn your back on it... just that for what ever reason, you've put up some sort of emotional blockade. you are the one standing in the path of your own happiness. from my perspective, it seems like a financial matter. money IS important... but, as they say, it ain't everything. fuck your job. quit. your are smart and resourceful. you have good friends, good family and people who generally love and care for you. i know for a fact that there are people in this world (*hint hint*) who would stop at nothing to see you happy. so, say you quit your job & you can't find another one to save your life (theres no way that'll happen btw), i'm sure that there are people who will have your back.
...and if it's not your job thats got you down, quit doing whatever else it is thats making you so blue, and still, you've got good people who gotchyo back.
i'm not wrong. i may be over simplifying, but i'm not wrong.