laine666

after spending the evening with my brother, his friends and their wives, i have a deep appreciation for who i am and my friends. for our intellect, our conversation and the places we hang out.
i am... happy and sad.
my dad might be moving to tacoma in a month. i'll find out next week. i love him so much and really miss him. we used to go out to lunch once a week, and because of my wacky work schedule, we dont anymore.
i dont know what to say now.
i miss alot of people.
i feel very lonely
a long time ago, i had someone i could call and i could talk to him about anything at any time. he's not around anymore. i really loved him.
i know that what i feel about things is motly normal, but i tend to fixate on them, and that is what isn't normal. i was trying so hard to act natural tonight, to be myself, but sort of watered down, you know? my brother friends dont get my sense of humor and i dont think they really know how to talk to me.
i miss charlie.
he never even said good bye really.
he just hugged me and told me that we would see each other again.
that isn't true.
he hasn't been back for almost three years.
that afternoon, i turned the corner, sat down on the curb and sobbed for a good long time. i didn't want him to go.
i still wish he wouldn't have.
he was one of very few who really understand me.
i have switched on self destruct mode.
no one can save this wretch now.