laine666

Your self loathing would be justified if we all loathed you, yes. We don't (at least I don't). Gets better, buddy. Have fun tonight!

poooooooooo...
show= tonic, friday... neat. show up or die.
i am dead.

been there, done that....Therapy is like that, it takes time for the relationship with the therapist to kick in and the all- so-mighty transfer to start operate. but it does work, it's just a long process.

there's nothing wrong with being down and depressed AND taking action against it. so courage lady !

tlc

drunken sarah thursday.

We need, your friends I mean. We want to know lainey is okay, that she is doing either the right thing or the dodgy thing, that she knows her pals are here in this space, not as good as being on the same couch but theoretically the same. Empathetic, curious, wondering and hoping that the walls aren't caving in too hard and too fast.

Give a shout!

Don't worry about meds. Sometimes they are the best thing going. I'd still be taking the first antidepressant I was ever prescribed were it not for an especially unbearable side effect. It absolutely tighted up my thinking and sense of hope, even made me more outgoing and assertive. Anyway, you know where to get me if you want to talk at length on this. You will be fine, even if it doesn't feel like that's possible.

you will never lose me, my dear sweet girl. i love you more than you know, and i will always be here for you... even if i move somewhere far away.

You are far more disciplined than I am. Given the circumstances, I, well, you know... Good on ya, mate!

nicely done, then!

so its official... im moving. tomorrow. today is going to be crazy.

thanks so much for finding that site for me. i got a job!!! (got the offer letter today) i may be a low-wage-slave but hey a job is a job and it's a damn good start. I think i found an apartment too- in beaverton... its very cute. i find out if i get it on friday. *crosses fingers*

so far so good.... i've only been living in oregon less than 20 days.

hey, we might actually get to meet. what a concept.

he's an ass... he has lots of explaining to do if he wants to redeem himself. yup.

Cool, so I should come up for the show? Probably would fly b'c car not so good for long distances. And then what are you doing about NY? I think there's a show in Eugene, too, but dammit, they took them off the site!!

still lovin that site, thanks.

My grandfather would say that

Someone: "Where ya goin'?"
My Grandfahter: "Crazy! Wanna come?"

I dig Christian Bale too. Well, not that way. He's a fuckin' GREAT actor. I'm so glad he's gonna be in the next Batman flick, and that that idiot Joel Schumacher is NOT directing it!

Buck up, buddy. You are a doll and you can write your ass off! It will happen, somehow, someway. I need to tell myself this as well... Try not to ruminate. Writing it down helps, no?

Whoa! Ever think about visiting Pittsburgh? (Wink wink, nudge nudge).

NYC is very cool, one of the only places that lives up to the legends and even the chiches. My favorite part about being there with my old band was walking around with an open 40 in front of a cop and not having him bat an eye... I suppose I am easily amused by simple things...

Ahh, that is super-shitty. So so so deja vu, girl, all around. I got the same story as you, not that I didn't see that one coming. Why do I keep blathering on about this one? Something about love, I s'pose, and what you had, and who you're.... Are you giving up, are you gonna stick it out, hope for the best? Damn, I'd like to take you out! Portland. Not nearly close enough.

-es, girl. sending lots of happy thoughts your way.

[Edited on Jan 18, 2004 11:49AM]

Thanks, you. Nice words are what I need for that crapstorm. What brings the guilt in waves is that I feel like I should be more proactive with my mom (even though I know it's a lost cause). We "intervened" right after my dad's death - it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My brother keeps saying that he needs to talk to her again. How many times do we need to? Bah!

I'm going to finish my 2 beers and put a movie on... Mindless Escapism, here I come!

I'm so excited about this long weekend!! My friend is coming up from LA.. hey, where is that girl? I should find her! Mmm, lazy morning. Maybe I'll go back to sleep, or at least back to bed. Yummy, warm bed. Yummy warm thoughts. Um, damn, where is that yummy, warm man!!??

ha ha ha im a dork.

[Edited on Jan 14, 2004 7:42PM]

Hahaha!!

Work today was ok. Not bad, not especially exciting. Rolled in around 10:30 (needed extra sleep after all that dancing). Plodded along until 5. Good sunset when I drove home. Glad work was better for you!

Wish I was this dog.

I haven't seen People Under the Stairs for a while, but I bought it because it was 8 bucks! So creepy....