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laceyk

Member Since 2005

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Tuesday Aug 17, 2010

Aug 17, 2010
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In case you miseed the last blog you can find the unPG picture of our trip now live on anti_duff's blog. Just a few.

I believe he kept some for himself.

So, where to begin?
It is a quiet week, no interviews.
I think this might be a good thing. I feel just totally exhausted. It is hard to explain. But when I wake up, I am exhausted, it isn't physically and not even mentally, my brain and body are awake. It feels like something deeper inside, perhaps emotional.

I actually need to call about 6 people back about jobs. I just can't muster enough energy. I just want one of the four jobs I recently applied to. I really want to hear back from them and just get a job.

Before I wasn't really ready with everything going on, but now - I am ready to start working.

In other news, we restart (read the first time we had another major fucking issue and had to completely change the treatment) mom's chemo on Thursday. I have a video of us shaving her head, but see above of me missing a large chunk of energy in my life. I will post it soon.

Perhaps that is why I can't focus on the job thing. Subconscuiously this is on my mind and I will be going home again this week, so only at my home for a short time.

Supposedly, this will be one of the worse. She will be getting three different meds. I am praying to God that she is just fatigued, and not throwing up or cranky. Please just let her sleep for like two days, or if possible have very minimal symptoms.

I need to gain control of my life again, including working out and losing weight again. Not being home much means that I am eating fast food all the time while driving between CT and NY.

There are three things currently making me happy: anti_duff, Degrassi: the boiling point, and blueberry muffins made from the blueberries we picked in Maine.

One of my best friends came home, I saw her for short minute over the weekend while in CT. I broke down (which I hate) not because of what i am feeling (or maybe it was) but because I knew she was there for me, and had also spent time with my mom.

So, long story short I am a bit of mess, but I am ready for change. I am ready to get control and to get into a natural rhythm again.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
hellomrworld:
Get some rest and get away somehow --- sounds like you need to just crash for a day or two
Aug 17, 2010
tunnel_vision:
Reventon roadster .... from the factory to my sellia marina place. It's my birthday present to my self. biggrin
Aug 18, 2010

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