Thanks guys! Happy to know being cheap is a good skill 
I am back home.
Being home is a bit ...depressing. I feel totally off. I know that part is obviously being home with a healing foot is different than being at my mom's or my dad's with a healing foot.
As I predicted, I also do miss being around people all the time. I knew that I would, but thought I would like my own time more than I actually am.
I am unsure as to how I will feel when I go back to work tomorrow.
Right now I am feeling like I am doing this life thing wrong. But I don't know how to change it.
I am wasting my life right now. I am not living to it's potential.
I am afraid to try to move forward, I don't want to. So I think that if I just don't move forward with my life that time will stand still. My mom will be alive for ever. Things will be okay. Nothing will ever change. But that is wrong. Things change every day, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
For the past 24 hours, after I had to come back to reality after being away for 17 days - I have been trying to figure out what the next steps I should take are. I am going to get older - I will end up being 80 someday. Life is going to keep moving whether I go with it or not.
Going home always messes with my head. For some reason it makes me think I should move back to Connecticut.
I continue to analyze my past over and over. Mistakes I made, opportunities I missed. Did I take the wrong path? I know no one can ever tell you if you did your life right. But sometimes I wish I could go back to different crossroads and do things differently.
I think I have been waiting for my movie ending or moment to come.
But life isn't a movie.
Anyways, forgive my ramblings. I think having a lot of time on your hands at times leads to some crazy ideas, and some ideas you whoudl have figured out in the first place.
On one hand it is nice to have a good job, but it is getting lonely when that is the only thing I tend to hang my hat on. I thought success would be enough - but it is turning out that it isn't. I am missing a large part of life that my job cannot fill.
I am back home.
Being home is a bit ...depressing. I feel totally off. I know that part is obviously being home with a healing foot is different than being at my mom's or my dad's with a healing foot.
As I predicted, I also do miss being around people all the time. I knew that I would, but thought I would like my own time more than I actually am.
I am unsure as to how I will feel when I go back to work tomorrow.
Right now I am feeling like I am doing this life thing wrong. But I don't know how to change it.
I am wasting my life right now. I am not living to it's potential.
I am afraid to try to move forward, I don't want to. So I think that if I just don't move forward with my life that time will stand still. My mom will be alive for ever. Things will be okay. Nothing will ever change. But that is wrong. Things change every day, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
For the past 24 hours, after I had to come back to reality after being away for 17 days - I have been trying to figure out what the next steps I should take are. I am going to get older - I will end up being 80 someday. Life is going to keep moving whether I go with it or not.
Going home always messes with my head. For some reason it makes me think I should move back to Connecticut.
I continue to analyze my past over and over. Mistakes I made, opportunities I missed. Did I take the wrong path? I know no one can ever tell you if you did your life right. But sometimes I wish I could go back to different crossroads and do things differently.
I think I have been waiting for my movie ending or moment to come.
But life isn't a movie.
Anyways, forgive my ramblings. I think having a lot of time on your hands at times leads to some crazy ideas, and some ideas you whoudl have figured out in the first place.
On one hand it is nice to have a good job, but it is getting lonely when that is the only thing I tend to hang my hat on. I thought success would be enough - but it is turning out that it isn't. I am missing a large part of life that my job cannot fill.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
rictor66:
I always thought of life as a sitcom. No ending, just season finales.
tunnel_vision:
You need a hobby to keep your mind busy.