Hey peeps how are yous all? Hope things are good and your well. Welcome to another weekly blog of yours truly.
So how’s my week going and new in my life?
This week has been hit and miss with me. On one hand I’m doing a lot of walks and getting along with my family. Which is good. On the other hand I’m still not seeing any of my mates & nobody is really talking to me. Not intentionally. I understand it’s busy times and it’s hard to stay social with everyone. Especially with the models. Who have probably over a hundred DMs per day and most are shit ones so models not talking back to me doesn’t surprise me. I can understand that tbh. But they do chat to me on occasions and that’s great. I’m always surprised that they speak to me, give me shoutouts, etc cause I’m a total stranger to them. They don’t have to but they do since their great people. There’s no guarantee that I’ll meet them in real life and tbh I’m more anxious than they are. I’m usually am around females. But if they do they have nothing to be afraid with me.
Also I feel like I’m overspending on content so I need to stop. It’s really to treat them other than myself by having the content believe it or not. I like helping out but one model I won’t name said I should tore it down. Since I’m already doing blogs and the fan accounts. That’s plenty. Yeah think that’s true, I do overspend on the models. So probably need to reduce it. She is right. Cause I do overtreat my favourite models, even though their strangers to me as I with them. But I think it’s me trying to prove myself to them that I’m not like those guys who treat girls like shit. That’s how anxious I am. I do agree I should calm down and I’ve improved on that tbf. I do like talking to them. Even if it’s just one reply. I should tore it down or say what is the best time to chat so it’s easier you know.
Reason I’m saying that is it’s part of my CBT project for my third session. Chatting, even online helps me but also them so they know that not all guys are bad you know. I know most of yous know that.
So yeah my session this week with my CBT program is basically about knowing about thinking errors. Which is basically in 5 categories. First is black & white thinking, which is basically you see things in two ways. All & nothing. So it’s basically teaching me to balance the two out. Second is jumping to conclusions, which I have to admit I’m guilty of. I’m always thinking that ppl don’t like me & that, even though that is not true. Third is Magnifying (Catastrophising), which is about for example me exaggerating any problem I have and my imperfections. So it’s similar to number two in a way. 4th is about Overgeneralising, which is about thinking that the negative that happen to me before will happen again. Like for example ppl fall out with me, getting bullied and left alone with myself. I do overgeneralise so it makes sense. Last is Should Statements, which is quite simple. Never isn’t never and always isn’t always.
So that’s my third session in the nutshell and I learned a lot from that one. So I’m really nailing my mental health issues. Fixing my problem. That’s why I decided to do these weekly blogs to talk about my life and yous continue to know me. Cause I feel it helps me and also probably help yous too, knowing that you’re not alone.
This is a long time coming. The whole of my 20’s was miserable. Was a shut in. Wasted my life on letting things get the better of me. I lost friends, jobs, opportunities, etc. I actually never been to a festival, a comic con, etc. But I’m working at it. I’m 31 atm so in a way I’m in my prime.
So to all those who say negative things about others and yourself. Even though you see friends often, go to festivals, etc be grateful. Thank yourself lucky. It could be worse. I never got the catch that most of yous don’t but I’m grateful of all the small good things that I get every single day. Cause I’ve been battling my personal hell for years. Even close to committing suicide. So I know you think things are awful. It’s not really. I think everyone should try to do the CBT program. It does open up so much to know how to avoid the negative thoughts. It is doing it with me. No doubt it’ll be the same with yous too. Just say to your doctor peeps. Sure he/she will give it to you no problem.
Like I said before I’ve been doing a lot of walks this week. It’s actually one of my activities that’s in my Activity Scheduling on my CBT. So been doing that a lot. Been going to castles a lot. Like the one in my last week’s weekly blog. It’s awesome. It’s Dunure Castle btw, it’s an awesome peaceful village in Scotland at the sea coast. It’s wonderful there. Feel right at home there. I used to go there all the time with my family as a kid and had BBQs there. It was awesome. Miss those days. My friends are saying they’ll do that one day and invite me along. I hope so cause that’ll be dope.
Also been to Greenan Castle which is not far from the Dunure Castle. But unlike that one it’s abandoned so can’t get in. Got a few pics of it.
Pretty cool right. If you’re on my Snapchat you probably saw that or on my Instagram. Idk I can’t remember lol. But it was an awesome day. Was with my Dad who I’m spending time with often now since he’s retired. It’s great. Feel like we’re bonding better than before since he was always busy with work. Tbh I’m happy with any company I get so I welcome it. It’s been great. Also had a great dinner the next night at my family’s favourite restaurant. It was delicious.
So yeah it’s been a good week. My weekend however I’ve been alone. So got me a bit down but I remember what the CBT program has taught me. So been gaming a lot and watching WWE promos of The Rock & Stone Cold on YouTube. I love old school WWE. Not the one currently. I just watch retro stuff. Also been playing a lot of Days Gone. It’s awesome.
Also starting to get used to playing co op online. Played Borderlands 2 co op with my good friend @xheartswornx since he wanted a co op partner. It’s good. I should play online with others often. So if yous want to add me, here’s my gamertags:
Xbox: TheRealKevster
PSN: marylover87
Yeah I know my PSN gamertag is odd. It’s cause I had a crush on Mary Elizabeth Winstead from Die Hard 4.0 back when I created my PSN account in 2007 so that’s why. My Xbox is my actual nickname. So yeah add me anytime. Only one rule, be cool lol.
So yeah that’s my week in the nutshell. So here’s my non SG model shoutout for this week. It’s Sally Jane...
You can find her on Twitter HERE , her Instagram HERE and her Patreon HERE
As you see she’s gorgeous. Definitely check her out. Also she’s great friends with @rubyalexia @narsil and others. She’s done duo sets with them so it’s good to go check her out. She deserves it, great lass!
Anyway that’s my weekly blog done til next week. Thank you very much for reading it peeps. I appreciate it as always. Yous are the best. Til the next blog this is KungFury saying take care, much love and be grateful to what you got, cause it could be no tomorrow.
@missy @rambo @sean
