Hey everyone. Hope you’re all well. I see my fan accounts on Twitter & Instagram are doing well and I thank you all for that. And my blogs too. Cause tbh being in this community has help me cope. I have written about my mental health before but I want to do it again since I have newcomers who are new to me and I’m always improving my writing. This blog is about myself. The man behind KungFury. You may think that I’m a happy person who’s always spreading positivity as I can with my post, blogs, comments, etc to photographers & models. I do that cause it’s nice. But as for a guy who is positive & happy...
I’m not happy, I’m miserable. (Quote from Wedding Singer)
I’m mostly a loner a lot of times. Always have been. I usually get bullied and push around due to my laidback nature. Scottish ppl are usually in your face verbally a bit too much, we’re a bit aggressive and I’m nothing like that. At least the ppl around me are like that. I stand out. Everyone is up and adam, while I’m the quiet one who wants to leave. I do my best but I get shot down a lot. No matter how much I work my ass off. Over the years I struggle with depression, social anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, anger issues, etc due to so much and also have ASD, which is Aspergers. I lost my two of best friends when I was 16 (both had the same disease), two of my uncles due to their alcohol addictions (hints why I’m straight edge), been stab in the back by so called friends, been cyber bullied online by ex mates, got beaten up a lot, thoughts of Suicide, etc. All of the above. It’s been a living hell my past. Even writing is hard to type down but I love to be upfront with yous.
All my life ppl try to convince me to be apart of a crowd and please them. But I’ve never have or will try to please the crowd for something I'm not. Ppl should like me for who I am. I will always be who I am. I do have Aspergers, I’m not ashamed of it. It’s who I am. I love to cook. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do weed or drugs. I don’t jump on trends or bandwagons. I have a different mindset to others. And I am laidback, shy and quiet. That’s just fine cause that’s how I am. I am a gamer, a TV/Film junkie, a blogger, a mental health activist, a fan of Alt models, a music junkie and so forth cause that’s who the fuck I am. No bullshit. Just me wishing the best in life. Not for me but everyone. For everyone to stop the negativity and be positive.
In my town in Ayrshire Scotland it’s shit. I never see happy ppl at all. In fact I’m usually surrounded by ppl who are grumpy & angry. I’m doing my best to be cool with everyone but problem I’m around ppl who aren’t. Usually cause they may hate their job or something and taking it out on ppl in their free time. It’s just so much negative ppl I have to deal with personally and I hate it. I do have good friends but their busy ppl & I usually see them a few times per year now. My family is hit & miss. My folks are brilliant, they’ve helped me out so much. My dad is about to retire and he’s in the same boat as me since his job has got him depression too and I help my mum out due to her arthritis. Also I have nephews. Three of them. I usually see two of my oldest. My oldest is about to start Secondary/High School. Lol kinda makes me feel old haha, I’m only 31 lol. But my youngest is just only 2. Just turned it. He cheers me up, being a little rascal. Also eventually saw my friends newborn the other week. But I usually don’t get much good days since I barely see them. Busy ppl, busy times.
I’m mostly a hermit and I’m doing my best. I’m working really hard on getting better, doing better for myself.
By the time of writing this I was checking out the gyms around in my area. Idk if I will join them, I didn’t like the look of them tbh. Look like a small hut one of them, no joke it was tiny and the guys running it look dodgy that I just wanted to run away. But it’s not a loss.
I’m enjoying my walks and I’m going back to do cycling soon. I rather be outdoors tbh. Besides the gym prices are ridiculous. One gym was £55 per month. I can back three models on Patreon with that cash. And it was just for the gym, no special classes or anything. It was a joke. So definitely no to the gyms atm. Not in my town. Probably if I move to somewhere different I may revisit going to the gym.
My main focus is to keep walking, start cycling in the summer. Maybe find a job in the kitchen or something like that. Or May try to do an online course on music and may try to form a band. I want to learn the keyboards cause I do write lyrics so who knows.
Yeah I’m basically doing my best to improve my life and my mental health issues. I’ve improved so much. You wouldn’t believe how much. I mean I was thinking of Suicide at one point a few years ago but I got help, I talk about it with my family about it and I’m improving. One step at a time.
So if I can improve my life. A dude with Aspergers and mental health issues. Yous can too. Never give up, love who you are. Don’t be ashamed. You got this. You can overcome it. Never try to please the crowd. The right people will come to you always. Embrace who you are and love yourself but in the right ways. Never treat ppl the way you don’t want to be treated. I never do and I have made friends with members & models alike on these platforms. Hopefully they think the same. Being online these days is a safe haven for me. Especially on here, the xpp chatroom sometimes and my fan accounts. It does cheer me up and I thanks yous all. I know I keep saying that. But I’m really am thankful to those who have given me great feedback and good chats whenever we’re free. I know busy times.
Don’t worry I’m patient lol. 😉
So yeah upwards and onwards. Hopefully my life story (Well almost everything) has given yous inspiration & maybe let you know you’re not alone. We all got our struggles but never give up on overcoming it for a better life. It can happen. It takes work but you can do it. One step at a time. Life does get better. Never stop. Fuck the haters, you can rise above their bullshit and conquer your goals.
Like I said in my @reallifepirate appreciation blog. Who is doing her part to achieving her goals. You can too. I am as well. Still more to improve but I’ll get there & yous as well can. Keep going, be yourself and never let the bastards put you down!! 🤘🏻
Anyway thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate it. Remember, yous are the best. So til the next blog, take care, much love and....
@missy @rambo @sean
