I heart my best Portland friend. He's the best. The SUPER best.
I'm feeling a little haunted. I was talking to my friend about all sorts of things last night and I came home and cried. I just want to be happy. I'm generally happy from day to day, but as previously mentioned the things that I really want are out of my control. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Tiny little things make me happy. But the big stuff I have no control over. Stuff with people that I can't change is just about the only thing that has chaotic power over me. Obsession, depression, impatience. I can change those emotions, but not the situations. I always care too much. I have more will to do what is best for my friends that I do for myself. I get so wrapped up in people I love that I ignore what I need to do for myself. But I can't ignore it.
My heart is always full. But empty at the same time.
I'm feeling a little haunted. I was talking to my friend about all sorts of things last night and I came home and cried. I just want to be happy. I'm generally happy from day to day, but as previously mentioned the things that I really want are out of my control. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Tiny little things make me happy. But the big stuff I have no control over. Stuff with people that I can't change is just about the only thing that has chaotic power over me. Obsession, depression, impatience. I can change those emotions, but not the situations. I always care too much. I have more will to do what is best for my friends that I do for myself. I get so wrapped up in people I love that I ignore what I need to do for myself. But I can't ignore it.
My heart is always full. But empty at the same time.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
jaime:
are you really pissed off 'cuz ov yesterday?.. left you a message.. things are crazy & so am I.. please don't take offense. i'll call you once i return & i'll email you while i'm there... tell jim i say hello.
razor13:
i have returned from the wilderness once again....i am shaking off a mountain bike crash, i am looking for 1st cocteau twins album on cd, tu sabes??? hope youre well and good with a lot of big ideas about life....that is what i hope for, anyway...
