I'm still moody. Didn't do anything of use today. Tried to paint.... failed miserably... I hate brick walls.... I hate blocks..
Shove my head into the brick wall.... That's better.
I don't know why I grow weary with painting. It happens every few months, and then I am stuck for three weeks to a month with no clue, no inspiration, no work. Cool my heels, cool my heels. I know what triggered it too, I can pinpoint it. One was my period (I just can't work when every single part of my body hurts. I hate to blame it on "female troubles" but fuck, this time I spent two solid days in bed. It just keeps getting worse as I get older, I never used to be bedridden because I was bleeding. Sigh.... all for a child I never plan on having... Grrr) The other reason was the difficulty with Trevor a few weeks back. He came home in a bad mood and just broke. And now my mind has been occupied with him and making sure he's ok. It's a setback though, I was so concerned for him that my own nerves are frayed. Oh well, now that I have said it outloud maybe I'll feel better. I just hope he doesn't see this entry. It won't make things any better
The compliments help, though. I appreciate everyone who has sent me a compliment on my work. Makes me feel better. I never question my ability as an artist, but I do run into dead ends. It doesn't do good things for my ego though, to one day paint something that makes my heart sour and the next day push around paint like I am shoveling slop for pigs. Oh well, keeps it all in perspective I guess. It's a good thing to take blows to the old ego, I'll never become arrogant at least.
I can't abide arrogance.
It's worse than ignorance.
Finished my book today. Started the Dragonlance series... I read most of the first one when I was in eigth grade way back when, it's been 13 years, I guess I can finish it now. Mmmmm.... fantasy.... Why don't more people appreciate fantasy? The fantasy group on this site is sad, they never post anything new.... Sigh....
Maybe I'll read again until Trevor gets home. That will be good, it's better than weeping incessantly over my art table and throwing my supplies around.
Like I said, I HATE BLOCKS!
Shove my head into the brick wall.... That's better.
I don't know why I grow weary with painting. It happens every few months, and then I am stuck for three weeks to a month with no clue, no inspiration, no work. Cool my heels, cool my heels. I know what triggered it too, I can pinpoint it. One was my period (I just can't work when every single part of my body hurts. I hate to blame it on "female troubles" but fuck, this time I spent two solid days in bed. It just keeps getting worse as I get older, I never used to be bedridden because I was bleeding. Sigh.... all for a child I never plan on having... Grrr) The other reason was the difficulty with Trevor a few weeks back. He came home in a bad mood and just broke. And now my mind has been occupied with him and making sure he's ok. It's a setback though, I was so concerned for him that my own nerves are frayed. Oh well, now that I have said it outloud maybe I'll feel better. I just hope he doesn't see this entry. It won't make things any better
The compliments help, though. I appreciate everyone who has sent me a compliment on my work. Makes me feel better. I never question my ability as an artist, but I do run into dead ends. It doesn't do good things for my ego though, to one day paint something that makes my heart sour and the next day push around paint like I am shoveling slop for pigs. Oh well, keeps it all in perspective I guess. It's a good thing to take blows to the old ego, I'll never become arrogant at least.
I can't abide arrogance.
It's worse than ignorance.
Finished my book today. Started the Dragonlance series... I read most of the first one when I was in eigth grade way back when, it's been 13 years, I guess I can finish it now. Mmmmm.... fantasy.... Why don't more people appreciate fantasy? The fantasy group on this site is sad, they never post anything new.... Sigh....
Maybe I'll read again until Trevor gets home. That will be good, it's better than weeping incessantly over my art table and throwing my supplies around.
Like I said, I HATE BLOCKS!
*sends psychic care package*