the pieces are starting to fall into place.
i'm starting to understand what was wrong...
Suzy your comments went a long way to making me realize.
When my mood first tanked i thought maybe a mid-lie crises, but when I thought deep down...a mid-life crises' is when someone starts acting out of character.
i'm still acting very much the way i have always been. nothing has really changed.
What I am really experiencing is what I call middle age angst. I mean i am what you would call middile age (41) .
But I don't act like anyones Father.
what it is, is the realiziation of mortality. that though my personality is not changing...i am getting older. NOT getting old.
Kid's i hate to tell you this, but everyone of you will be here one day. even those of you still in your teens.
Remember I was 18 to 25 once before too . Years..1981 to 1988. The cradle of Punk, rebellion, and Anarchy.
I love you all...if you need me just ask.
Please need me...
Good Night......
i'm starting to understand what was wrong...
Suzy your comments went a long way to making me realize.
When my mood first tanked i thought maybe a mid-lie crises, but when I thought deep down...a mid-life crises' is when someone starts acting out of character.
i'm still acting very much the way i have always been. nothing has really changed.
What I am really experiencing is what I call middle age angst. I mean i am what you would call middile age (41) .
But I don't act like anyones Father.
what it is, is the realiziation of mortality. that though my personality is not changing...i am getting older. NOT getting old.
Kid's i hate to tell you this, but everyone of you will be here one day. even those of you still in your teens.
Remember I was 18 to 25 once before too . Years..1981 to 1988. The cradle of Punk, rebellion, and Anarchy.
I love you all...if you need me just ask.
Please need me...
Good Night......
Did you live in VA during the cradle of punk? I have lived in Los Angeles all my life so we had a great punk scene here. I was always surprised when I heard about scenes that rivaled ours, like in some weird town in Wisconsin or something. But I guess angst is not something reserved for the big metro areas only.
In West Hollywood, there was a fast food stand called Okie Dogs. Now what an Okie Dog was ... ummm ... a couple hot dogs, pastrami and chili all rolled up in a tortilla. They were so wrong, I think it would kill me to eat one now. This was the place to hang after a show. I made friends there, flirted with tough little boys with bleached, spiked hair, posed for pictures from the tourists, even got arrested once (at 17). Fond, fond memories of Okie Dogs after seeing Black Flag at the Starwood or the Dead Kennedys at the Whiskey or something like that.
It was so cute. I have a 6 year old. Still trying to figure out how that happened, but I digress. I was listening to NOFX and Whoops I OD'ed came on and Daron was singing along. (I know, that sounds wrong to me, too.) But anyway, at the end he was singing in his little 6 year old voice ... I'll see you all at Okie Dogs, see you all at Okie Dogs. I just laughed out loud. That's my boy.
You know, you were lamenting about how punk rock used to mean something and now it is just commercial dribble. I was thinking about that. I'm sure there were many down for the cause, and you are certainly right about more riots then, but there were a lot of poseurs, too. There were all the little rich kids from Orange County that thought their parents didn't understand them and shaved their heads and came to Hollywood to start fights because it was so punk rock. I don't know that is truly meaningful, but I guess it was enough to die for back then. Just like my kid thinks that his generation is smarter, cooler, more sensible, whatever. And you are right, he will be disillusioned in 20 years as well.
And my 6 year old by then, I'm sure, will think that I'm so old I'm just waiting to die and that his big brother (17 years older) is hopelessly uncool and "doesn't understand." Ha!
Well, today I'm gonna try to embrace change. I need to feel better and like I told you before, if I want that to happen I'm gonna have to make it happen.
~Suzy