kristoph

so this is the winter blues.
i get them every year, but i've only realised the effect this season has on me recently.
and it's odd because i fucking love winter. love the way the world looks at this time of year. love the fact that i can pile on the layers so i'm completely covered...
but the need to hibernate is so strong. the need to shut myself away and just immerse myself in books and movies and music and cuddle up with a bottle of whiskey and just let people get on with whatever it is the rest of the world does.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that every christmas and every new year for as far back as i can remember has been shit. every new year starting exactly as the old one had left me.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that i have no one to share this beautiful time of the year with.
maybe it has something to do with the fact that i hate myself for needing to be with someone. needing or wanting? i can't see the line anymore.
no matter what people say, it's important to have someone who understands you....
this is veering off at a rather self-indulgent tangent so i'll stop.
but yeah.
winter.
blues.
i coulda just said that eh?
x